Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Let The Thunder Roll

 No, this isn't a Garth Brooks song about getting caught cheating on someone during a lightning storm. It is about thunder, and not feeling well, and being ridiculously stubborn about doing what you planned any way.

 Today, I had so much I wanted to do: Pick up my mat for my car. ( I spilled dutch oven contents on it the other night, and left it at a friends house to dry.)   Go to softball practice, and go to ARP meeting.

that was my to do list, if you will.

What I have done: watch Kitchen nightmares and eat soup.

Yesterday I started feeling a cold coming on. I have hit it will all I have in the hopes it will go away. However, I had plans, so I was going to just keep going and do everything and not rest, because I did everything else you can for a cold and that's enough right? nope.

 So what happened? God helped cancel my plans so I can stay home and rest.
How did he do that? Great giant rain/thunderstorm.

So, Softball got canceled, my mat is wet again, nick got scared. and I decided to stay home and rest so I can feel better. I still could have gone to ARP, and got everyone else sick. That would have been nice of me. Its OK, I went to work today.  Its OK, I wore a scarf, took Zicam, Airborne, drank herbal tea, two litres of water, wore a good coat, and oh yeah, I went to work with wet hair. Oops.

 but ultimately my dog who is now called Stormageddon,  Dark Lord of All, or Stormy for short, was ironically, afraid of the storm. He needed me to stay home and comfort him while he trembled in fear and tried to hide in my armpit. Strange boy. Love him.  Let the thunder roll. I'm just gonna rest.

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Since I Never Write Any More....

   It has impressed me that even though I came home from my trip and quit writing, people are still reading my blog. Because of this I have wanted to write something for you for days, But I can't.  I don't know that I have anything to say right now that anyone would want to hear. And there are a lot of things I just can't say right now.

 I know that this has been a place where I have spoken my feelings quite honestly and I have shared a lot with you. I like that I can do that, and I  hope that I can do that again. As much as I can say right now, I will, because I love you guys, and I appreciate that you have kept reading.

 I had the most amazing, spectacular time in Europe. I loved every second of it, and I saw so many Miracles.  The funny thing about life, is that there is this thing called opposition. You can't know the good unless you also have the bad , the hard, etc.

 I still recognize that I am incredibly blessed. I have an amazing family in Utah. I have some amazing friends/adopted family right here with me in Washington, and I am having some amazing opportunities come up with my job.

 I am also probably having one of the hardest times I've ever had in my life. I have a whole new set of emotions I am trying to deal with and handle, I feel like I have lost some of my ability to trust, to open up to people, and I am trying really hard not to lose any more, and trying to gain back some of what was lost.

 I'm trying to keep the negative thoughts in my head at bay, trying to win out with the positive. There are a few things right now that I am feeling really hurt about. I'm trying to process them, and not become bitter, resentful or anything else like that, because that isn't who I am, and that wont make me happy.

 I am trying, but I am also allowing myself to be human this time. I don't know how long its going to take me to really want to write something here again. I don't know how long its going to take for my sense of humor to come back, but I'm going to need a little bit of time probably.  I'm going to need a lot of friends, and a lot of hugs, and a lot of encouragement right now.

 That's all I can say, and that's all I want to say .Thank you for being my friends, and for reading my blog, even when I quit writing.  

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

All Times, All Things, All Places

      Something struck me today, that I dont think has ever crossed my mind before. When the scripture or the Young Women's theme, or any other of those commonly used/quoted things gets said saying that we need to "Stand as a witness of God at all times, and in all things, and in all places" I've only ever heard "Stand as a witness of God at all times and in all places." My mind, has never grasped or caught hold of the "things"

 What does it mean to stand as a witness of God in all things?  There are many things I stand as a witness of God in, but what about the things we dont want to talk about ? what about the things we are ashamed of, or embarrassed about?  What about  those things? can we stand as a witness of God in those things? And when should we?

 I think even when its hard, at any time, in any place, with anything that the spirit directs you that you should share a witness of God, then you should share a witness of God. I think thats what it means. When theres something you dont want to talk about, that you feel you should share, then be willing to share it.  I dont know. I dont know that this post even makes sense. But What are all things? I've never noticed or payed any attention to that part of the phrase before, but right now, its standing out in my head that All things is just as important as  All TIMES and ALL Places.  Its an incomplete thought. but there it is. 

Monday, June 3, 2013


I interupt my travel log for some important thoughts about moms. I am not a mom, and its not mothers day, so the timing may seem a bit odd, but perhaps thats a good thing.

I had some good conversations with a couple of my friends yesterday that are moms, and it got me thinking. Now that i am a bit better rested, I thought I would  share those thoughts.

1. There is no cooler, more important or influential job in the world then that of a mom. There no job on the planet that requiers a broader range of general knowledge, good instincts, or hard work. Moms weave daily the fabric of society and good mothers and fathers are the threads that bind that fabric together. Nothing is more important or influential than home. Good parents give their kids the foundation, saftey, and security to meet and exceed their full potential as human beings and children of God, that potential may differ from the world view of sucess,
But the world view is often limited and short sighted.
There is no better use for your tallents, inteñligence, creativity passion, and love than building that foundation in lives, primarily in the lives of your children, because you have greatest influence on them, but this influence extends to friends family, and anyone else in
Your circles.

2. As long as you are providing for basic physical, intellectual, spiritual and emotional needs, and love your kids, you wont mess them up beyond repair when you human weaknesses, imperfections, and limitations get in the way.

God is the only perfect parent. Love your kids, do the best you can, and things will work out eventually. You cant controll everything, you cant teach everything, and you cant do everything. Nor should you. The Most important thing is that you genuinely love your kids, if thats true, they will have an adequet foundation to launch into life from.

3. Fill your bucket.

I learned on my mission that you cant expect to do a good job helping or teaching anyone else if you have depleated your energy, emotion, spirit, or intellect down to nothing. Keep your life balanced, take care of yourself, recognize your limits, and respect and work within them, and have some fun.

4. If you are like most moms i know, you are doing a better job than you, or sometimes your children think. Pat yourself on the back, look in a mirror and say, «im good enough, im smart enough, and dog gone it, i like me.»

I am in no way shape or form an expert on any of this, but as the child of a mom, and an outside observer, i think these are the observations i would like to share. Stay home, or working, to all you moms out there, thank you for all you do. And to my mom, thank you for all you've done and continue to do. And to my aunts, friends, and others (including those who reacently yelled at me for going out with wet hair) thank you for applying your mommy skills in my behalf, weather or not you are a mom, and even though you are not my mom.  Its great to have so many people to learn from and be loved by. Keep up the good work.