What is the Difference Between a Temple and a Church?

Well, my last post brought to my attention that there are a lot of things I talk about and words I say that don't quite explain what I mean and what I am talking about when I answer peoples questions about my religion. I have decided that maybe once weekly I will try to take one of these common questions and answer it more simply so that my friends that are "Outsiders" as my friend put it, to Mormon culture and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, can perhaps get a clearer understanding and picture of what it is I am talking about all the time. I am going to try to keep it simple, but you know me, I love to complicate things. I refer any additional questions you may have to www.mormon.org, or you can ask me in person but I'll probably just be confusing. 

 A common question I have failed to answer well has been what is the difference between a Church and a Temple for Mormons?  This is the answer according to me, to the best of my ability. For an official church statement see www.mormon.org.   But here goes my attempt

A church is a regular meeting house. In a church house we have Sunday services that include the Sacrament meeting, Sunday School, and Relief Society and Priesthood meetings. Sacrament meeting is where we have our sermons, and when we take the Sacrament - which is like communion. Sunday School we learn about the Bible and the Book of Mormon etc. , and Relief Society is a meeting for just the sisters and Priesthood meeting is a meeting for the men. We study the exact same topic, but it allows us to bond as women or as men  in our own unique ways-  like the men all falling asleep and the women all crying a lot (joking, totally joking- sometimes).  

 Any way I digress... We also use the meeting houses for non Sunday meetings such as Scouts, Youth activities, sports,  and dinners. Meetings, meetings and more meetings (we have a lot of committees and meetings).  and also for baptisms  and  confirmations (the gift of the Holy Ghost) which are Ordinances- symbolic things people do to show they are promising to follow God-  if you don't know that word, we use it a lot.   So that is basically the meeting house or church- anyone is welcome there, its where we go for the common every day stuff. Also sometimes they do weddings there, but these are different that temple weddings in that they are like just any other wedding- just till death do you part.  Most often people who get married in the temple have receptions there so that everyone can come and wish them well. 

Ok, so then, What is a temple for?  a temple is a place of higher things. We call it Gods House on earth. Its a place of higher learning- some call it "the Lords University" some say that's BYU, but it isn't. (Go AGGIES!!!)  and its a place more connected to heaven.  In the temple we can do things like baptism and confirmation for our ancestors that have died. We do this in place of them. This is so that those who didn't get a chance in life will have the opportunity to accept that if they want to. We believe people keep learning and growing after they die and just because they didn't have a chance to hear about something here, or just because they weren't ready here does not preclude them from learning about it and deciding they want it later. But the work must be done physically. So we do it, they decided if they want that or not. its not disrespectful or taking away their right to choose anything, its just giving an option to them if they want it.  

Any way,  we also learn more in the temple and make more promises to follow Jesus Christ and live our lives like him. This is why people have to prepare and meet certain requirements before they can go to the temple. You have to be ready because you are responsible to keep the promises you make to God.  Anyone can go to a temple to see inside it and what it looks like BEFORE it is dedicated. If you have that opportunity, I encourage  you to take it.  After its dedicated, you have to meet the requirements, but anyone that meets them can go. (this includes making promises to God and living by those promises.) The biggest and coolest thing, though about the temple (After it is dedicated) , in my opinion, is that marriages are performed there (also called Sealings)  that bind husband and wife  and parents and children together  not just till death but throughout all eternity. The authority to do this is only in the temple, and so it is a very special and important thing to us.   Another cool thing about the temple is its really pretty and super quiet. So its a great place to go and just ponder and be alone with your thoughts.  

So, that is the simplest and clearest explanation I can give you of what the difference is between the Temple and the Church meeting house.  I hope that makes it a bit clearer for my "Outsider" friends. I hope you continue to ask questions and I hope I can get better at answering them.    Here is a good link for more answers on this question     http://mormon.org/faq/topic/temples.  Hope you found that helpful.

Settling For More

A few weeks ago while I was In church I started writing a post on my phone that I never finished, and apparently didn't save properly. It was supposed to be about how God had bigger plans for us than we have for ourselves, how sometimes the things that we want are far below what he would give us, what he has in mind for us. I know that is true, and I know in my life when I align my will with Gods will, that is when i find the most happiness and joy. 
  I don't know what I was going to write that Sunday, but recent events have given me great cause to ponder this subject in terms of marriage, Which seems to be your favorite subject to read about. There are many kinds of marriage available here on the earth, organized by governments, by men, and by religions. There is only one Marriage that I believe to be organized by God  and as a covenant, if lived up to valid and recognized by him not only for here and now, but throughout all eternity. Families are the most important part of life here on earth, and throughout eternity, so this is a subject I take very seriously.
  For the past few weeks some of my co-workers have been playing match maker with me. There is a guy we all mutually know that is a very very wonderful man, an excellent worker, kind, good looking, and has many many great qualities. I consider him a very great and dear friend, and for reasons I will try to explain, that is where it must stay, no matter how closed minded anyone else believes I am being.
  I have tried to think over the past couple of days how I could possibly explain to anyone why it is so important to me to marry a worthy  priesthood holder in the temple. I don't know that I can do it justice honestly, but I will try. One reason this dear man for now must only be a friend, is that he isn't a member of my church, and he isn't able to take me to the temple to marry me.
  Some have expressed that it is sad that a relationship of that nature could be cast aside just on the grounds of religion, if it were just religion then that truly would be sad. But it really isn't. My church doesn't say I can't marry a non member, I know many that have and have made it work, and even sometimes later in life their spouse may reach a point where they decided to join the church and be married in the temple, but this arrangement is not for me.
   I wish I could even begin to explain the blessings that are possible through and eternal and celestial marriage, I don't even fully understand them though, and I wont have words. I just know that God wants me to have more than just someone I am married to for here and now, that brings me a measure of joy, God wants me to have a fullness of joy, and that is available only in his holy house (the temple) through making and keeping sacred covenants. 
  Even in the short term, if I were to marry someone not believing in and following the gospel of Jesus Christ, and living and making the same covenants and on the same religious course as me, it would just be settling for less, it would make me unhappy and cause me great heart ache no matter how much else love, or fun, or how many things in common we had. 
  The first and greatest obstacle I thought of was actually the Word of Wisdom.  Speaking particularly of this instance, I know he would want to have coffee, tea, and alcohol in my house. I could compromise and make this work, and it would be OK. But, I don't want it there. I don't want it in my house. It would be a source of constant internal conflict that I have no doubt would over time erode away the strength and love in our marriage and result in divorce. 
 Even in dating, I know that the law of chastity would probably lead to conflict, and that is yet another concern. He may be respectful and that would be fine, but it would still be an underling stress and conflict if one doesn't believe in no sex before marriage.  Another problem  in marriage, would be the constant struggle, to constantly be going alone to church, to put my children in an unstable and conflict filled battle ground,  and to not feel like I was understood  in this aspect of my life would be exhausting to me. He would also feel constant pressure to either join me, or would pressure me to not go so I could spend time with him. Church stuff takes a lot of time. 
  Also,  I would like my marriage to be a partnership to build a family for eternity, with eternal goals, based on a foundation of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I want my husband to help teach these things too.  When I get old, I want to go on a mission with my husband, this would be yet one more thing I would be required to sacrifice for a non temple marriage
  I understand that temple marriages do not always work out ideally, that there are struggles and still divorces, and spouses that give up on their covenants and these struggles still exist for some. I know that some marry a non member and eventually they get those things that I don't want to sacrifice, I know its possible for that change over time.
 The thing of the matter is that, I don't want to start knowing that I am already in that battle. I don't want to have to constantly hope for and pray for that change in a spouse. I have waited 30 years (What girl doesn't start planning her marriage from birth? ) and I am willing to wait 30 more, or even more than that if necessary to have a marriage that can be built on eternal foundations. I will wait and trust in the Lords timing till that time I can settle for more than just here and now, more than just what will make me happy for an instance. True happiness is longer lasting, it gives hope despite challenges and it looks for and builds towards eternity. 
   I love my friends all of them, whether they believe in God or not, whether they are Mormons or not. I think everyone in humanity has a great deal to do to help each other and contribute to each other. I appreciate the diversity of growing up and being around people of different faiths, or no faiths, there is much we can all learn from each other. But in terms of marriage, dating, those relationships, I cannot settle for less than what God has planned for me, I cannot settle for less than temple and eternity bound. I wish I could explain all the feelings in my heart on this matter, but here at least is a start. I hope that helps my friends and co-workers to understand a little better. 

How to Chase off a Door to Door Meat Salesman

One new thing I have experienced in Washington, that I don't recall in Utah, was the door to door meat salesman. Maybe because in Utah everyone has a friend or a neighbor that is a farmer that they can get some bulk meat from cheap, or maybe because my parents got that doorbell ring before I could, but...
  Here in Washington, I get a visit once or twice a year with these guys telling me they have the cheapest meat prices, but you have to buy bulk and have a big freezer, not to mention it costs a lot of money. 
I have always had a dilemma as a single person that I don't need that much meat, so its hard to get rid of these guys for me. Yesterday, I found the quickest solution ever. 

  Bit of a personal note, for those who don't know, starting about two years ago I decided to cut back the meat in my diet. Coming from a meat and potatoes family, I used to eat meat as the main part of my every meal. Well, I guess living by hippies has rubbed off on me. I now eat meat only once to three times (not days, meals) a week depending on my roommate and if I am a guest in someones house.  My own meals I either do vegetarian or Pescetarian (Fish/seafood but not other animal flesh). I rarely buy meat- only if I am planning a special meal for friends.  I am not a vegan- I eat eggs, cheese and that sort of thing, and I do have a little meat each week. Mainly I just believe in moderation, and I don't think my previous habits were healthy for me or moderate in my meat consumption. I don't eat red meat except on very rare occasions.  This is my own personal preference and I don't say this because I think everyone else should eat as I do.  Now, however, you can get an accurate picture as to why I have no need for the door to door meat market, and why I also was not lying  with my response to the salesman.

 So there we were, me and my friend who had come over to enjoy the latest episode of Doctor Who. Just as my friend stepped up to my door, up came the salesman. He started the pitch I've heard all to often, and very quickly I was able to respond  "Thank you, but I am a vegetarian"   a true enough statement that very quickly got rid of the salesman, and got me a "wow!! good job" from my friend. Never thought of that approach before. I don't think meat salesmen will be a problem for me in the future. 

Stake Conference? yay!!

So yesterday and today we had our Stake conference . I just wanted to share that one of the most  personally meaningful talks I heard was about fear. Sometimes, I just choose to be a chicken, and not confront my fears. Sometimes I get tired of being "brave and want to back off confronting them after I have started.  I liked this talk a lot. I tried to capture what the member of our stake presidency said exactly, but all I can give you is the gist of what he said, and that was that our fears are generally generated by our own misconceptions of our inadequacy.  In terms of fears such as public speaking, or our ability to live the gospel, this is absolutely true in my opinion. 
  The Stake RS President also talked about how the savior never gives us an invitation that he doesn't have a way for us to fulfill, and that no man is an island, we need eachother. 

  The member of the stake presidency read one of my favorite quotes from Maryanne Williamson and I think it connects those two Ideas:
 “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Not Knowing Before Hand the Things That I Should Do.

I have been thinking all day today about a scripture in the Book of Mormon, when Nephi was off trying to get the gold plates from Laban. Right as he goes out that third attempt to get the records  he says  "And I was led by the spirit, not knowing beforehand the things that I should do."

This is how I have felt recently. I am dealing with a personal trial of a greater magnitude that what I can really comprehend or express to you at this time, but over the past few months it seems to me that as the time has come for me to take steps to deal with this trial and to face it, just as the moment comes that I need to take this action or that action a sudden inspiration comes to me, and I know exactly what I must do next. At first I hesitated to listened, my delays caused more trials and pains to come my way that what was necessary. I have learned to listen and act, and when I do I feel peace that I am doing the right thing even though often times it is a difficult thing. I am learning to not run away from things that scare me, and I am learning that when the spirit tells me its time to take this step or that step or to do things in this order  then I will be most happy if I listen. 
  I don't think I've ever done things quite this way before. Its very humbling when I try to sit down and come up with what needs to be done on my own I can think of nothing, but when I need it God just sends the answer my way. I feel very taken care of right now, and very very humbled.  
  I have felt over the past few months not to worry about the usual things that I stress a great deal about- for instance, when my roommate was getting ready to move out a few months ago, and I knew I would need to find a new one, I didn't stress. I just felt peace that it would be taken care of and I should just focus on taking care of transitioning into my new ward, and a new roommate appeared out of no where and moved in just as the old one moved out.  That's the way its been for the past few months. 
 I am extremely aware of just how aware my Heavenly Father is of me, How much he loves me, and how well he knows me and my individual struggles, my weaknesses, and my strengths. He has blessed me with great friends, that have even dreamed dreams about how they can help me, and then they were awesome enough to follow though. I am very grateful to them. 
 I have never felt so loved or taken care of in my life, and as I face whatever trials lie ahead, I am grateful to experience something like Nephi, so awesome as being led by the spirit, and not knowing before hand the things that I should do, but knowing no matter what it is I must face, no matter how ridiculous it seems, what insurmountable road block seems to be in my way, I know that God has my back. I know that people who love me have my back, and I know that I will come out of it not only OK, but better than I have ever been before.  Thank you, to all my dear and cherished friends that listen to the spirit, and that are just plain amazing friends.  We can't and shouldn't face things alone, that's why God put us all here together, to help each other. I think its the greatest thing in the world that God is in charge, and he knows what he is doing because none of the rest of us have a clue, but if we listen to him, he will direct ALL our paths. 

The Mand Cave

That is not a typo, I wrote Mand cave, not man cave.  You know what a man cave is, what is a Mand cave? my room, or actually more exactly  my entire house except my roommates room.  What do I do with the Mand Cave? Well, Primarily I sleep, and play Facebook games, watch Netfix/Hulu and waste a lot of time, But occasionally, I use the Mand cave to be super creative and write songs, stories and paint paintings. Because the Mand cave is a place of discovering your soul, unless you are too scared of yourself and prefere to use stall tactics like Facebook to not have to learn anything scary about yourself, which usually comes out when one is being creative. It is my goal today to confront that ugly monster- my inner thoughts, and exercise creativity in THE MAND CAVE!!!   You should do the same, but you can't come to the Mand cave unless your name is Mandi. Sorry, visitors are not welcome, my dog will attack you, find your own cave. Time to go write a song....

Fake it till you make it? No, just become it.

I had a big thought this morning. «Fake it till you make it»  is a lie. Rather, we should work on becoming until we are. A fake dimond will always be a fake dimond, its not going to suddenly change over night into what it claims to be, just because it has claimed  to be so for years.
However, a piece of coal can become a dimond, even though it looks nothing like it, if the correct amounts of heat pressure and time are applied.
«Fake it till you make it» is just lying to yourself and others, its a fake. To truely change and become something truely great and brilliant requires change. True and lasting change requires absolute honesty with yourself and others. Become until you are, dont fake it till you make it.

Too Busy Being Creative

Ok,  so I haven't blogged as much as I would like to. The truth is I am just too busy being creative!!! In the past two weeks, I've written like 3 new parodies (tonight I am working on two more) a real song,  I finished a short story, and I painted a picture of a tree rooted on a rock in the middle of a big storm in the middle of an ocean. 
  So I want to keep up with writing here, but I am so busy being creative I dont have time to think of anything to write. Just wanted to give you a quick update. I got to go, I have two new parodies half writen.  

Peace out!!!

The Have To...

I remember one of my favorite movies growing up was "Rookie of the Year." I memorized that thing front and back, I just loved it.  One of my favorite scenes the kid was up to pitch for the first time, and he was so scared he couldn't throw the ball where he was supposed to. The old veteran pitcher walked to the mound to give him a talk, and told him  "you  gotta go to your have to. "  a confused dialog continued as the kid and I both tried to figure out what the "have to" was that he needed to go to. Finally the old guy just tells him its the place where his fear lived and basically that he needed to face it.

 Today, I think I finally understand the "have to."  The have to , is when you are so freaking scared of something that you have only two choices, facing it or absolute misery. Its been a "have to" kind of week.
There are lots of things I have to do- I have to go on a long commute to get to work every day. Sometimes people ask me how I can do this- well, I have to. I have to get up, because I have to pay my bills or be homeless, I don't want to be homeless. I have to go because I am too lazy or scared to find another job closer to home ( a fact that is quickly changing mind you). I have to because I like living in Kitsap county, I don't want to move to the Seattle side. I have made my choices, unless I change one of those variables, i have to get up and commute to work.

It is the same, I think , with moral standards. God doesn't make us do anything, neither does anyone else. Why do I keep the word of wisdom (no alcohol, coffee, tea etc)? why do I keep the law of chastity (no sex before or outside of marriage to put it in layman's terms) ? Why do I pay my tithing? etc etc. Quite simply because I have to. I have to keep those rules/commandments, whatever you want to call them because A) I promised God I would, and B) I wont be happy if I don't keep them, and my ultimate objective in life is to make me as happy as I possibly can.

I am happy when I am unselfish and serve others, I am happy when I live my religion, I am happy when I finally deal with my problems instead of running away from them.   "Courage is not the absence of fear, but the knowledge that something is of greater importance than the fear" is one of my favorite quotes from the Princess Diaries.   It is true, what makes us brave, what makes people put fear behind them and choose something else is that they come to that point where something is more important than being afraid, they come to the Have To, that place where fear lives until we have to vanquish it, and then it is dead and faith abounds.  I have to be the best me I can, and that scares me, and sometimes I will fail, but just as Eminem said, (edited version) "Success is my only .... option Failure's not"       Are you afraid? Go to your Have To, and then fight on. 

My most challenging day on the ice

It was only twenty minutes, and the most challenging thing i did was cross overs, and backward swizzles, but when time was up, I was ready to get off the ice.

My foot is a bit tinggly right now, but I didnt push it too hard. Considering weeks ago I still couldnt even balance on my left foot, today was big progress. But, with shaky balance issues, and figure skaters jumping and speeding around me, it was definately my most dufficult day on the ice ever.

I couldnt possibly skate another minute today, but i am greatful I had a second back on the ice. The months ahead are going to be annoyingly slow and difficult, but I will make my comeback, and then I will get my axel. Peace out, from the B town Ice center

Its 3 AM I Must Be Blogging...

 Well, This will be completely nonsensical. Probably one of those things you have to be up at 3 am to get and think is funny, but if you were here, at 3 am, when I wrote this, You would probably be laughing hysterically.

  Have you ever noticed how funny it is when you get tired. How funny everything is. And then you start crying because you are tired and even that is funny.  Tonight, I couldn't even figure out how to put my shoes on. That was pretty funny. See, this is why young Mormons don't need alcohol to have a good time, we know that if we stay up late enough everything is hilariously awesome. Oh, you think that that pillow is a piece of shredded wheat cereal because you are up too late and you are hungry and tired and  don't know what the crud you are even thinking? yeah, that's pretty funny.  
  You know, every time I am up at 3 AM, that matchbox 20 song pops into my head, You know the one, 3 AM.  Well, Its 3 AM. I don't think I am lonely, because I just had a really awesome game night with friends (even though I wound up as scum again for most of it). And then I talked to a friend for, I don't know, maybe an hour, hour and a half. I thought it was two hours, but she determined I was wrong based on when she sent a text.  It sounded good, but none of us were making sense at that point. And now I am home and its 3 AM , I must be blogging. Yup, I think that is what this is. What the crap is a blog?  also, Road is a funny word.  OK I think its time for sleep.  but I hope this post reminds you of your favorite time you stayed up so late that you made no sense and laughed at everything. Those are the best times, we should try to remember them.    

 You know I saw a news headline the other day, that there was a lady who said a dingo ate her baby ,but she was convicted of the murder. Now they have found evidence, the dingo really did eat her baby. that is sad. But it reminds me of the episode of Seinfeld where Elaine kept saying in an Australian accent "The dingo ate my baby" I thought that was funny, I had no Idea it was based off anything really. well now I have truly ventured off into randomness.    night all

Never Kick A Giving Horse in the Mouth

I am sure you have all heard the idiom "Never look a gift horse in the mouth."   That means if someone gives you something dont look for flaws in the gift, its a gift, accept it graciously. That isnt what i want to talk about today.
When I was in the MTC, one of my Elders, Jimmy King, messed up that idiom and inadvertntly created a new one, just as true, and just as important in my oppinion, because its never left me.
"Never kick a giving horse in the mouth" he said. What the H is a giving horse? To be honest, I dont know. It probably doesnt exist, but I like to imagine its a mythical horse creature that looks like charlie the unicorn, minus the horn, and with a happy, friendly and giving attitude.
If you ever come accross this creature, he is kind and will be a true friend, and likes to give gifts, good gifts. Hes a cool guy, unless you kick him in the mouth.
Dude, its a horse with magical powers! What the sea biscut do you think you are doing kicking him in his magical teeth?   You gonna pay for that, he has magical powers duh! And now you ticked him off, good luck.
Mythical creature asside, have you ever done a lot for someone, out of love and caring only to have them "kick you in the mouth" figuratively? It hurts when that happens. We all do it, and we've all had it done to us. Let us remember the wisdom of Elder King, and do our best to never kick a giving horse in the mouth.

Oh So Quiet!!!

Its funny, Just a few days ago I was pleading for a bit of space and alone time, and now the silence is so deafening that I can hardly think.  Its hard to get a balance on that front, but with one roommate moved out, I am very glad I have another soon moving in.
  Sunday dinner is my least favorite thing to do alone, and today I made a supper Delicious dinner, but it so killed it to not have anyone to talk to, or share the plethora of BYU devotional addresses that I watched. They were all really awesome.  This week has been amazing, so  I guess I can take a bit of the quiet time and reflect on what I have learned:

 1- I am ME and that is more than OK, its awesome
2- God loves me, he is aware of me and he takes care of me whether I deserve it, or feel I deserve it or not
3- True Good friends are one of the GREATEST blessings in the world that anyone could ever have
4- You can never run away from your problems for long, you must face them, acknowledge them, and deal with them.
5- I have a really cool dog.
6- I feel happiest when I am honest with myself and others.
7-Faith in God is what allows us the ability to ask for, look for  and see the amazing things he puts into our daily lives.
8- When I don't want to sit through all 3 hrs of church that is when we will have the best Relief Society lesson ever that is most applicable to my life and what I need, so I should defiantly sit on.

9- We all have different problems, but we all have problems, we all feel alone at times, we all feel pain, and well all feel like we fall short of who we want to be,  but we are all far more loved and cared for than we ever realize.

            I love you guys all,  If you are having a bad day, reach out to someone- a friend, a stranger. Spend time with someone, do something for someone else,  do something to connect with humanity and don't be afraid to see the good that is around you instead of just the hard, the bad, the sad and the painful. Life is full of all those things, but life is also full of love, family,friends, beauty and joy.

Happy Sunday all

Bearing one anothers burdens

I learned a really good lesson this week, one that i am sure I half learned a year ago. In the scriptures it talks about how we should morn with those that morn, comfort those in need of comfort, and bear one annothers burdens. As I was increasingly angry, frustrated and confused I could not do that. I didnt care and I just wanted to push people away. Monday I kind of hit the tipping point.
This forced me to back up and evaluate a few things, but mostly it forced me to the point I had to open up and talk to some of my really close friends and tell them what was really going on with me. 

What I learned from this, is part of bearing eachothers burdens is sharing your own. As soon as I did, I knew I wasnt alone, I knew people had my back, and then finally I had a light enough load again that I can have there back. As people we are always far stronger when we unite together than when try to do it alone.

Some onetime

I realized when I woke up this morning I am quickly reaching the point where anyone and everyone are annoying and frustrating me.
It didnt take long for me to figure out why. I learned from a very wise professor in college, that it is very important to keep a balance with your One time - alone time, Two time - one on one time, and your Three time -group time.

I am in no doubt that a lack of true alone time, solitude has caused my imbalance and irritation. I cant really think of the last time I spent some good quality time with myself. I watched the olympics alone, but I wasnt alone, i was with the comunity of lovers of all things olympic.
I have rushed from thing to thing, church function, family function, friend function, olympic function. In so doing i have neglected one of the most fundamentally important relationships i have, me time. Because of this, I feel like all my other important relationships are suffering, including family, friends and God.
I read an old conference talk from president Uchtdorf this morning called "What matters Most" its a very good and wise talk, i encourage you all to take a look at it. For now, I may have to pass on a few activities for a bit, till I can restore my balance. Its important to do that. You cant love anyone else if you dont love yourself, they say. And I say you cant love someone you dont spend time with and get to know. This is a constant thing in all our relationships in life. So, I love you all dearly, but its time for me to spend a little time on me, and then I can spend time on you again.

Tired

 I was told 30 was a great year. That is a freaking LIE!!  I keep getting my hopes up that I can turn this year around and make it great, but so far it just sucks and I don't like it. Last year was a great year. I liked last year. I liked this year during the Olympics.   I don't know,  I am tired, Sore, and sick of slowly coming back from my foot injury. I am even sicker of trying to figure out what I am supposed to be doing with my life, because right now it all seems kinda pointless.  Sorry this is whiny, I know we all have those days, and sometimes those months, and sometimes those years. I am going to keep working, I am going to keep fighting for my comeback. Today though, I am just going to go to sleep because I am too tired to do any more. Sometimes, Life just makes you tired. tonight is one of those sometimes. 

The Flame Forever Burns

I am about to begin watching the final piece of this Olympic games. As always, I am in the last time zone to see it, so I am sure you already have. But, before the flame is extinguished (for me, I already know its out in London) I want to share my memories that I am certain I will never forget, some things I loved, and some that I didn't.  
  I will always remember  a female track star with a flower in her hair, to show power in femininity. I probably wont remember her name. I have to look it up not to know its Alysia Montano. But I wont forget the story behind it that they told and that "Running like a girl" is a good thing.  I will remember a fifteen year old Lithuanian girl coming from no where again and again to get the gold and go beyond her own expectations. 
   I will remember gymnastic dreams reached, gymnastics dreams crushed, gold medals and flat out face plants. I will remember an American diver surprising everyone and getting gold. That was an amazing competition. I wont forget Mo and Rupp, or the Blade runner, and an amazing Grenadian, or the mini's that collected the discus and javelin.
 I also will remember the dreams that were never realized.  Arielle Martin, who was slated to go to the Olympics this year  to compete in BMX crashed in training the day before she was to fly to London. Her injuries were extensive, and she didn't make it. But her faith and determination helped to inspire people from her home town, and her fellow BMX riders. As I watched BMX and saw her replacement rider with Arielle's initials on her hand I will admit a tear or two was shed. My mom told me the story originally. Arielle is LDS, and asked for a blessing in faith. She may not have made it to the Olympics, but there is so much inspiring about the story. Sometimes  the Olympic creed that its not the triumph, but the struggle means painful things, but Arielle's struggle to get to the games (this is her second time barely missing out on going) is perhaps more inspiring than even if she had made it.

I wont forget the older athletes that came back one more time- many nearly forty, still amazing skills. Tunisia  got their first medal, and Malaysia, celebrating their success was just as fun to me as celebrating the USA being number one on the medal count again.  Tom Daily was inspiring, the french Men's gymnastics team- I didn't even know they existed!! and the french swimming relay team getting gold, even if it was at our expense. 

I found out I love white water kayaking, rowing, the equestrian cross country event, mountain biking, BMX - Latvia won gold!! I was entertained by politicking in the women's high jump- trying to get all the athletes to pass a jump so they could all qualify to the final, but that didn't work because not everyone was on board.  Missy Franklin- I wont forget that smile, or Nathan Adrian, or the fact that Ryan Lochte pees in the pool.  

  I tried, but could not get into sailing, rhythmic gymnastics or table tennis. I hate Judo and boxing, but I love taekwando- go figure, and archery is cool.   

The most important thing I take from this Olympics however, Is my personal desire to do better and be better in every aspect of my life, because I know I can. I can run faster, eat healthier, be kinder, and just be better in every way. I can't do it in one day, but my goal is that in four years I can look back and measurably be a healthier, happier person. I know I have great potential- SO DO YOU!!  At the close of these games, the training begins again in renewed strength to be the best me I can be.  Faster, Higher, Stronger.  Its time to dream again, and to work for a dream. No more coasting in life for me, as one of the US divers (Katie Bell) was reported to say  I am going to say "I own this Shiz" (I changed the last word.)  Lets go own it. And lets all go for gold, for peace, for good sportsman ship, for awesomeness.  The Games have ended, but let the flame forever burn in your heart, inspiring you to greatness.

Gold Medal Moms

I think long before this Olympics began we knew that  at least the P&G commercials would be focusing on moms and their contributions to the games. I had no idea how much NBC was going to jump on board with the whole thing. 
  Tonight, as I watched highlights of the women's high jump final, as each woman got up to jump the commentator it seemed would say  she was in her 30's and a mother of  _____ children. Kind of cool. Runners are also moms, some have won big medals,  Some mommy swimmers have even made come backs- though not at this Olympics to my knowledge. The us Gymnastics team might be all young 16 year olds, but one of the German team  is 37 and a mom. She made the event final on vault and finished in fifth place.   
  As a 30 year old, I don't expect to go to the Olympics, most of the women that do this started going to the Olympics when they were much younger, but the fact that one can still do these amazing things in sports long after the years that they, who ever they are,  tell  us we can do them, is something.  I know one thing I will take from these Olympics is a bit more patience and consistency in my own athletic goals and training. With my foot injury, patience has been a must, I am no longer worrying about trying to heal and get an Axel in a day,  just to get it eventually. sometimes that is the smarter move.   Thank PG for the mom commercials, thanks NBC for telling us the mom stories, and thank you moms for all you do.   Happy Olympics everyone, only a few events and closing ceremonies left. I am sad to see it in, but inspired to work harder for the next two years (till winter Olympics)

Abilities

 I think the most interesting pattern I am seeing in this Olympics, is that people who were told they couldn't, said they could, and then they did.  People who had disadvantages were able to turn them into advantages, or at least perceived advantages. 

Kieran Behan is the first gymnast from Ireland  to qualify on his own merit for an Olympics, and he got to London against all odds. He was told twice in his life that he would never walk again, and twice he worked and made his way back to the gym. Then he had to do car washes and bake sales to get funding to make it to qualifying events, and to the Olympics. He and his family did it, and I watched him compete. He didn't win  gold, but he won something more, what we all want, a chance to do his best on the highest stage. 

US diver Chris Colwell was born with 60% hearing loss. From every interview I have heard from him, he doesn't seem to consider that a disadvantage even though he can't hear the buzzer or announcer saying to start his dive. He can focus better without noisy distractions and has ways of knowing when to dive. That is adaptability. Every one of us was born with some sort of "disadvantage" or "disability" but every one of us has the potential to turn that into an advantage. 

Speaking of "advantages", Who hasn't heard of Oscar Pistorius? Have you been living under a rock? The runner that had both his legs amputated and runs on sort of springs or blades has caused a great stir this year as people try to determine if his medal legs give him an advantage or not. I think the biggest question that would answer this for me is, in a sport known for doping- where people do things to cause great harm to their bodies so they can win a race,  if its such an advantage why aren't people chopping off their legs and getting these blades instead so they can win? because its not an advantage, its Oscar. If its an unfair advantage why is he the only one with such blades to make it and compete in the Olympics, and not just Para Olympics? Oscar is amazing and inspired me. He made a goal- not gold, but to make a semi final. He did that, and then he lost, and then  now gold medalist James Kirani changed bibs with him.  If that doesn't say respect, what does.

Speaking of James Kirani, He is from Grenada. Grenada has, until yesterday, never won an Olympic medal. that can be a disadvantage too, in funding, in people making it harder for you to get there because they don't believe you will make it. Myliutyte surprised everyone in swimming, she is only 15 and no one expected Lithuania to win a gold in swimming because they've never done it before. But both of them did it, they got the Gold. that is inspiring.  Cool Runnings has always been one of my favorite movies because "they did something no one thought they could do, and they did it with (everyone ) laughing in their face" as John Candy's character says in the movie.  Real life was not exactly like the movie, but I am sure the difficulty in getting people to believe in a Jamaican bobsled team wasn't too far off accurate.

 Natalia Partyka of Poland was born without her right hand and forearm , this year she is competing in table tennis in both the Olympics and Para Olympics. I don't know if you have watched Olympic table tennis, but they hit the ball faster than I can see to follow it. 

One of the US female runners yesterday talked about coming back to the sport after having twins and then having depression. She came back, she won her heats, and she was amazing to watch.  I could go on and on. The truth is that we love these back stories they tell us at the Olympics because they are inspiring. These athletes really are no different from the rest of us, they have lives, they have challenges, great challenges, but they work hard and over come them. If we want, we can do the same. It all reminds me of a poem by Berton Braley :

                      " Success"

If you want a thing bad enough

To go out and fight for it,

Work day and night for it,

Give up your time and your peace and your sleep for it

If only desire of it

Makes you quite mad enough

Never to tire of it,

Makes you hold all other things tawdry and cheap for it

If life seems all empty and useless without it

And all that you scheme and you dream is about it,

If gladly you'll sweat for it,

Fret for it,

Plan for it,

Lose all your terror of God or man for it,

If you'll simply go after that thing that you want.

With all your capacity,

Strength and sagacity,

Faith, hope and confidence, stern pertinacity,

If neither cold poverty, famished and gaunt,

Nor sickness nor pain

Of body or brain

Can turn you away from the thing that you want,

If dogged and grim you besiege and beset it,

You'll get it!

AMEN!!!!  I think our biggest disability in life is not knowing what we want to go get. Figure it out, and go get it, and don't believe anyone who says you can't. People like to say that, they say it all the time. Yet, records fall every Olympics even when people say it cant be done. Roger Bannister ran a mile in under four minutes, no one thought that was possible, I could go on forever. Don't doubt, just work and believe. good luck. 

The Greatest VS The Most Decorated

A lot  has been said about Michael Phelps being "The greatest Olympian of all time." Though I wouldn't dare specifically name a person to that title, I wanted to take a moment and just say, I don't think Phelps is the greatest Olympian of all time.
  He is talented, and accomplished and decorated, but he doesn't embody the Olympics, or the Olympic spirit to me better than anyone else, especially not this year where the love of the games just doesn't seem evident to me.  I would say more accurate is that Phelps is indeed the most decorated Olympian of all time, very talented and a great athlete. I would leave it there. 
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Having the most medals doesn't make one the greatest Olympian.  I don't even think that is a fair measure as some sports (like swimming) its far more possible to get more medals than others.  On top of that, the greatest Olympian should embody both great wins and great sportsmanship. 
 We should probably look more to the Pierre de Courbertin Medal winners for the greatest Olympians of all time- people like Luz Long,  Lawrence Lemieux (Gave up his very likely shot at a medal in sailing to go and rescue some fellow athletes who's boat capsized) ,  and Vanderlei Cordeiro de Lima  (attacked by a mad man at the end of the marathon he was going to win, he still managed to get bronze when he broke free.) Not to mention those athletes who have left a lasting impression on generations- Mary Lou, Olga, the mag seven, Mohamad Ali, and that is just the summer athletes. We could add in those with great Olympic longevity- Dara Torres, Iordan Iovtchev, Vitali Scherbo, and many many more. 


Phelps is great, but does having more medals really make him the greatest? I don't think it does.