So, I have a lot to talk to everyone about, and yes, there is a date to mention. Right now I have a massive headache and I feel like my brain may explode. its been that way for a few days, so I need to get this all out. Its been a crazy month. But Saturday, I learned something about myself- Sometimes to accomplish one goal, I need to focus on another.
So Saturday morning at the rink, My coach asked me what my goals were- did I want to test? compete? Shows? What? and I said "oh yes, I want to keep doing all those, but first I just want to focus on getting my Axel." well my coach pointed out to me that, even though it was a good goal, and important, I needed to keep working on everything, including my foot work, if I were to both get my Axel and progress on in my testing. Its true, My lack of practicing my "moves in the field" as they are called had hurt my progress on the Axel. all those boring little things like three turns help you with arm position and take offs and all that important stuff to not die on the Axel.
So tonight, on a related but completely different note, I skipped Home Evening group, and went and had Family Home Evening with my friend Ali and her baby Naomi. I have felt so off balance since I got home from my road trip to Utah, and I just needed an evening with a real family, discussing spiritual things and getting all this stuff and emotion out of my head. So that is what we did, and that was what I needed. I felt really bad, because I guess I was supposed to do the lesson for my group, but I completely had forgot about it and wouldn't have been prepared any way.
The problem you see, is that like my Axel, I had alot invested emotionally in this road trip- seeing friends and family, old mission presidents and Baltic peoples, oh and yeah, I did a road trip across 900 miles each way and had dinner with my family and the guys family together and all our families were putting massive pressure on the situation. and I came back and just wanted to write about it, but I know people that were involved read this blog. But you know what, I just have to say what I just have to say, and I can't hold it in any more.
I will be honest that I went into that trip with a lot of big expectations, and pressure, from myself and from outside. I had developed a great friendship over a year- long distance, and I wanted to meet the man in person and see what happened. I got scared and nervous, but I talked myself out of fear, and despite the pressure I think I gave the most fair and honest chance I could to seeing how things went.
It was an OK drive from Seattle to Utah. General Conference was really good, but I didn't feel anything specifically for me like last time, just a lot of good general stuff to keep me on the path. I learned alot though, about me, and my guy friend. Road trips are good for that, getting to know people, I think. It weeds out alot of fronts you could other wise have the energy to put up. Dinner wasn' too bad except when a certain sister in law cornered the guy and asked his intentions ( I love you Mel, but if you do that again. . . )
well, there was that, and I think I just had so much time running around visiting friends, and trying to spend time with my mom, but not really spending quality time, just like quantity time, that it was hard. I think everyone got rushed, except maybe Natalie who is really fortunate, and awesome.
There was just tension and friction in the air. We got back to Seattle and had an amazing game night and temple night with my friends here, and my guy friend. We went on like a dozen dates in three days - the zoo, the aquarium, the space needle and a bunch of other places. Well we came to the end of it and I had some thinking to do ,because what I discovered was that I found him in the friend zone ,and that was all, and it was tough and i didn't want to say it because i was afraid people would think i was running away again, I was afraid I was running away again, plus how many months ago did I get put in the friend zone and I know how much that hurts.
Well, but I knew I had to be honest. So as soon as I checked I wasn't running away I informed my friend he was in the friend zone. That is hard, but it was necessary, because its true and its not going to change no matter how many tries I give it. But i still had fun ,and it was a great trip, and I wrote a short story out of it, so there ya go.
but any way, like my Axel, I was told tonight by Ali, to focus on other things so I am not worn out by all that happened that week, and what I want and what I think I need and everything, So I will focus on some other things, like my calling for a bit, and that will be good for me. I am going to write a novel in November. I am looking forward to it. I hope that brings everyone up to speed. if you are confused, i was trying to be a little ambiguous because I don't want to embarrass my friend or anything, he still is a great friend. but I have to write, its just how I am. good night all. there is you update.
So Saturday morning at the rink, My coach asked me what my goals were- did I want to test? compete? Shows? What? and I said "oh yes, I want to keep doing all those, but first I just want to focus on getting my Axel." well my coach pointed out to me that, even though it was a good goal, and important, I needed to keep working on everything, including my foot work, if I were to both get my Axel and progress on in my testing. Its true, My lack of practicing my "moves in the field" as they are called had hurt my progress on the Axel. all those boring little things like three turns help you with arm position and take offs and all that important stuff to not die on the Axel.
So tonight, on a related but completely different note, I skipped Home Evening group, and went and had Family Home Evening with my friend Ali and her baby Naomi. I have felt so off balance since I got home from my road trip to Utah, and I just needed an evening with a real family, discussing spiritual things and getting all this stuff and emotion out of my head. So that is what we did, and that was what I needed. I felt really bad, because I guess I was supposed to do the lesson for my group, but I completely had forgot about it and wouldn't have been prepared any way.
The problem you see, is that like my Axel, I had alot invested emotionally in this road trip- seeing friends and family, old mission presidents and Baltic peoples, oh and yeah, I did a road trip across 900 miles each way and had dinner with my family and the guys family together and all our families were putting massive pressure on the situation. and I came back and just wanted to write about it, but I know people that were involved read this blog. But you know what, I just have to say what I just have to say, and I can't hold it in any more.
I will be honest that I went into that trip with a lot of big expectations, and pressure, from myself and from outside. I had developed a great friendship over a year- long distance, and I wanted to meet the man in person and see what happened. I got scared and nervous, but I talked myself out of fear, and despite the pressure I think I gave the most fair and honest chance I could to seeing how things went.
It was an OK drive from Seattle to Utah. General Conference was really good, but I didn't feel anything specifically for me like last time, just a lot of good general stuff to keep me on the path. I learned alot though, about me, and my guy friend. Road trips are good for that, getting to know people, I think. It weeds out alot of fronts you could other wise have the energy to put up. Dinner wasn' too bad except when a certain sister in law cornered the guy and asked his intentions ( I love you Mel, but if you do that again. . . )
well, there was that, and I think I just had so much time running around visiting friends, and trying to spend time with my mom, but not really spending quality time, just like quantity time, that it was hard. I think everyone got rushed, except maybe Natalie who is really fortunate, and awesome.
There was just tension and friction in the air. We got back to Seattle and had an amazing game night and temple night with my friends here, and my guy friend. We went on like a dozen dates in three days - the zoo, the aquarium, the space needle and a bunch of other places. Well we came to the end of it and I had some thinking to do ,because what I discovered was that I found him in the friend zone ,and that was all, and it was tough and i didn't want to say it because i was afraid people would think i was running away again, I was afraid I was running away again, plus how many months ago did I get put in the friend zone and I know how much that hurts.
Well, but I knew I had to be honest. So as soon as I checked I wasn't running away I informed my friend he was in the friend zone. That is hard, but it was necessary, because its true and its not going to change no matter how many tries I give it. But i still had fun ,and it was a great trip, and I wrote a short story out of it, so there ya go.
but any way, like my Axel, I was told tonight by Ali, to focus on other things so I am not worn out by all that happened that week, and what I want and what I think I need and everything, So I will focus on some other things, like my calling for a bit, and that will be good for me. I am going to write a novel in November. I am looking forward to it. I hope that brings everyone up to speed. if you are confused, i was trying to be a little ambiguous because I don't want to embarrass my friend or anything, he still is a great friend. but I have to write, its just how I am. good night all. there is you update.
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