You know, It was just over a year ago that I was called to be a councilor in the Relief Society presidency of my YSA ward. I have served under two presidents, and I have learned so much. Yesterday I was released, and its made me think about a few things. You know, a year ago I was so overwhelmed by the call I started hyperventilating, I didn't know how I was going to do it, it just seemed like such a large responsibility. And it was, but I was able to do it, and I was blessed more than I can ever say for all my time and energy spent. The lord took care of me, so I could take care of his daughters.
As I went through out that calling, It reminded me in many respects of my mission. I was sort of "on call" and worried about it and helping the girls 24-7, just like as a missionary I was concerned about the investigators, less active members, and the general state of the church in the Baltic countries. Half way through this calling I had a change of presidents- just like in my mission, and I felt as emotionally exhausted at half way through this calling, and at the end of it as I did on my mission. One major difference though, I still had to worry about my job, my skating, and everything else on top of it. As a missionary, I got to just focus on one thing.
But, I am grateful for that difference because I learned how to balance things, prioritize, and I learned what my human limits are, and I learned that I think I needed to give myself more credit as a missionary. Another great thing about this calling was I learned how people, friendships, organizations (particularly the church) work, how to schedule buildings, plan activities, get people to come to activities, delegate, teach, and how to conduct meetings. I gained confidence, and I learned to love people and forgive them their short comings.
I also learned that I cannot fix everyone else's problems, friendships and relationships, but that I am the type of person that will usually try to, at least to some degree. I learned there is a time to say something, and a time to shut up, a time to help, and a time to teach others to help themselves, a time to correct people, and a time to let them figure it out for themselves.
My mission was a great foundation for building all these things. I started learning them probably in young women's, when I was in all those class presidencies, I learned them more on my mission and then I built on that. Amazing how God teaches us that way- line upon line. I do remember though, when I came home from my mission I had a feeling that nothing else would ever be as important, that I was some how less great because I was no longer wearing the name tag. I got lost, and I didn't know what to do with my life. Mainly, I didn't know that God could operate as strongly and clearly with me every day as he did on my mission, when I was no longer a missionary. I didn't know it was possible to have the same level, or even greater level of faith and miracles in my life.
But, luckily, before this next great calling and mission to the RS presidency, the Lord taught me something, by showing me how to be just as influential, faith filled and awesome with no calling at all. It was only the six months prior to the presidency calling that I learned this, but now that I am released it is a great comfort to know that calling or no calling, or nursery calling, or cub scout calling or door greater calling, or stake RS calling or what ever, how ever big or small, whatever comes my way in the future, I don't have to miss a step of being a faithful and awesome tool in the hand of God to work miracles. I can help people at any time, any place where I am needed and directed. That is a great comfort to me, and a big help in transitioning out of a big calling to, for at least a little while- no calling.
Its funny, because sometimes we become our titles when we have these big callings. Sister Marquardt- missionary for the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints, Sister Marquardt- councilor in the YSA RS. well today I am sister Mandi Jean Marquardt, Daughter of God, your friend and that is all I need to be.
Yesterday, I taught the RS presidency lesson, it was nice to do that for my sort of fare well to that chapter of my life. My lesson was on the tender mercies of the lord, which I planned over a month ago. only a half hour before church yesterday did I know I was being released, so that lesson was in fact one of those tender mercies. Elder Bednar talked in that talk about how the timing of the lords tender mercies help us to recognize and appreciate them. That was true yesterday. Last week was so stressful to me, for no reason. I just hit a level of emotional burn out that I just had to be done. Yet for myself, I would probably never have chosen to be done. In fact when the bishop told me they were releasing me, he asked if I considered that a blessing. I knew the time was right, but in the moment, i didn't, because I was scared a bit of the change. But as soon as it happened, I recognized it for what it was- a tender mercy of the lord, he delivered me right when I needed it. '
This week, my stress is gone. I don't have to be as conflicted or emotionally burdened as I have been. I still plan to attend everything, and help out when needed, but today I feel very free from a very heavy responsibility, and I know that the timing of this is just when I needed it. I know I gave my all and I will be blessed for that, and I know that I will continue to give my all to whatever the lord asks me to do. But right now I just get to focus on being Mandi Marquardt, Friend, Sister, visiting teacher, and on finding an eternal companion so I can build up my own family, and that is all I want to do right now. I am grateful for the opportunity I had to learn, love and serve, I am grateful for the sisters I have come to know and love, I am grateful I was called, and I am grateful to be released. I hope that is how I feel at the end of my life too, May it be still a far journey, because its really the same thing- I was called to this earth, to be me here, and one day I will be released, to be me elsewhere. what matters is not where we are called, or what we are called to do, its that we do it, we love it, we grow, and when we are done growing there, we move on and continue to grow and become. I love you Girls, and I love you my fellow presidency members, I have loved working with you so much, and I will miss it, a bit.
As I went through out that calling, It reminded me in many respects of my mission. I was sort of "on call" and worried about it and helping the girls 24-7, just like as a missionary I was concerned about the investigators, less active members, and the general state of the church in the Baltic countries. Half way through this calling I had a change of presidents- just like in my mission, and I felt as emotionally exhausted at half way through this calling, and at the end of it as I did on my mission. One major difference though, I still had to worry about my job, my skating, and everything else on top of it. As a missionary, I got to just focus on one thing.
But, I am grateful for that difference because I learned how to balance things, prioritize, and I learned what my human limits are, and I learned that I think I needed to give myself more credit as a missionary. Another great thing about this calling was I learned how people, friendships, organizations (particularly the church) work, how to schedule buildings, plan activities, get people to come to activities, delegate, teach, and how to conduct meetings. I gained confidence, and I learned to love people and forgive them their short comings.
I also learned that I cannot fix everyone else's problems, friendships and relationships, but that I am the type of person that will usually try to, at least to some degree. I learned there is a time to say something, and a time to shut up, a time to help, and a time to teach others to help themselves, a time to correct people, and a time to let them figure it out for themselves.
My mission was a great foundation for building all these things. I started learning them probably in young women's, when I was in all those class presidencies, I learned them more on my mission and then I built on that. Amazing how God teaches us that way- line upon line. I do remember though, when I came home from my mission I had a feeling that nothing else would ever be as important, that I was some how less great because I was no longer wearing the name tag. I got lost, and I didn't know what to do with my life. Mainly, I didn't know that God could operate as strongly and clearly with me every day as he did on my mission, when I was no longer a missionary. I didn't know it was possible to have the same level, or even greater level of faith and miracles in my life.
But, luckily, before this next great calling and mission to the RS presidency, the Lord taught me something, by showing me how to be just as influential, faith filled and awesome with no calling at all. It was only the six months prior to the presidency calling that I learned this, but now that I am released it is a great comfort to know that calling or no calling, or nursery calling, or cub scout calling or door greater calling, or stake RS calling or what ever, how ever big or small, whatever comes my way in the future, I don't have to miss a step of being a faithful and awesome tool in the hand of God to work miracles. I can help people at any time, any place where I am needed and directed. That is a great comfort to me, and a big help in transitioning out of a big calling to, for at least a little while- no calling.
Its funny, because sometimes we become our titles when we have these big callings. Sister Marquardt- missionary for the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints, Sister Marquardt- councilor in the YSA RS. well today I am sister Mandi Jean Marquardt, Daughter of God, your friend and that is all I need to be.
Yesterday, I taught the RS presidency lesson, it was nice to do that for my sort of fare well to that chapter of my life. My lesson was on the tender mercies of the lord, which I planned over a month ago. only a half hour before church yesterday did I know I was being released, so that lesson was in fact one of those tender mercies. Elder Bednar talked in that talk about how the timing of the lords tender mercies help us to recognize and appreciate them. That was true yesterday. Last week was so stressful to me, for no reason. I just hit a level of emotional burn out that I just had to be done. Yet for myself, I would probably never have chosen to be done. In fact when the bishop told me they were releasing me, he asked if I considered that a blessing. I knew the time was right, but in the moment, i didn't, because I was scared a bit of the change. But as soon as it happened, I recognized it for what it was- a tender mercy of the lord, he delivered me right when I needed it. '
This week, my stress is gone. I don't have to be as conflicted or emotionally burdened as I have been. I still plan to attend everything, and help out when needed, but today I feel very free from a very heavy responsibility, and I know that the timing of this is just when I needed it. I know I gave my all and I will be blessed for that, and I know that I will continue to give my all to whatever the lord asks me to do. But right now I just get to focus on being Mandi Marquardt, Friend, Sister, visiting teacher, and on finding an eternal companion so I can build up my own family, and that is all I want to do right now. I am grateful for the opportunity I had to learn, love and serve, I am grateful for the sisters I have come to know and love, I am grateful I was called, and I am grateful to be released. I hope that is how I feel at the end of my life too, May it be still a far journey, because its really the same thing- I was called to this earth, to be me here, and one day I will be released, to be me elsewhere. what matters is not where we are called, or what we are called to do, its that we do it, we love it, we grow, and when we are done growing there, we move on and continue to grow and become. I love you Girls, and I love you my fellow presidency members, I have loved working with you so much, and I will miss it, a bit.
No comments:
Post a Comment