I think I had the beginnings of a profound realization this weekend. Its not fully hatched, but I think I am on the way to getting something big, so I thought I would share.
You know, In Sunday school, I think I was told that Godly sorrow was feeling sorrow that you did something wrong because what you put the Savior through, and because you have a change of heart and you truly want to change, and worldly sorrow was that you were sorry you got caught.
I think I have found a slightly "new" way of looking at that. I think, worldly sorrow is shame. Whether it is a sin or any other imperfection you want to hide from yourself, from God or from the world, the sorrow of shame doesn't lead to the changes that God wants to see happen in our lives. Shame is that thing that holds you back from being completely honest with yourself and others, its that thing where you keep beating yourself up over things, and you don't allow the atonement in your life to fully work and function. You may allow it in part, but as long as you feel shame, I don't think you have fully let it work its enabling power.
Godly sorrow on the other hand requires absolute honesty, absolute humility, and a willingness to go through whatever refining fire you must to have that imperfection burnt, chipped or polished away. It hurts to go through, but in a way that also lifts you up and makes you stronger. As I continue to share more personal things through this blog or with my friends, I am doing it, in part to overcome shame. Shame has held me back for too many years.
Now, I am finding an interesting balance happening in my life. As I share things that I was once a shamed of, I am not always proud of those things, their results and my related past actions. I have a feeling becoming prideful about those things would be another way of worldly sorrow which would be celebrating my mistakes and pretending that they hadn't hurt me, or that I had overcome them myself.
I am feeling shame disappear from my life, because even though I am still not perfect, I know that the atonement is working in my life. That my savior is helping me and using my past experiences to change and shape my future for the better, because I am trusting him completely, I humbled myself and am striving to be completely honest, even when I know I may disappoint myself with the truth. I feel confident that my honesty will bring me nothing but closer to him, as I admit my imperfections and submit them to him to make perfect over time and eternity.
As I share these things with others, I do not do it lightly, I am not doing it to be boastful or to stand out or to say I am better or worse than anyone else. I share these things, because "When thou art converted strengthen thy brethren." I want to help others, I want to make shame disappear from our lives. It doesn't help any of us. I think when we begin to talk openly about our struggles and problems in a way that is honest, and open, without pretense, without shame, it can begin to empower us to move forward.
I am not saying I am anywhere near perfect in these things now, I definitely have a ways to go still, and I still catch myself getting prideful, lying or trying to hide things. When I do, I try to immediately STOP IT. I think this has helped me to get rid of a lot of worldly sorrow, and start to feel the power of the Atonement in ways I have never felt before, in a way that rids my life of shame.
I think when we try to hide, hide from, or ignore our problems and imperfections, then we can't really change that weakness, we can't make it strong, we cant move forward. Basically when we do that, we damn ourselves.
One of my mission presidents once explained to me that "to Damn is to block or stop progress". that's all the more that is. If we are not allowing Christ to help us move forward then we are blocking our progress. I watched a video today that kind of reminded me of this, so I will share the link at the bottom of this post.
Like I said, this is not a complete thought yet, its not a perfect thought, but this is the start of my thought that I am having on Godly Sorrow and worldly sorrow.
There is a scripture that talks about this in Luke 12: 3 "Therefore whatsoever ye have spoken in adarkness shall be heard in the light; and that which ye have bspoken in the ear incclosets shall be proclaimed upon the housetops." and D&C 1: 3 "And the arebellious shall be bpierced with much csorrow; for their iniquities shall be dspoken upon the housetops, and their secret acts shall be revealed."
This scripture used to scare me, I think, because I didn't want to have any bad thing I had done, or imperfection shouted for all to hear. Now, I don't really care, because I know that isn't who I am. It isn't what I am. I know that Christ has helped to create a real change in me, a change where I don't want or feel like I need to hide anything any more. I'm not of course going to share all my experiences with everyone, but if they knew them I don't feel it would change anything for me one way or the other. That fear is gone. And now the video I talked about. This is a preview from the Voices of Hope project. Take a listen.
http://youtu.be/7ha6nfTd72Q
You know, In Sunday school, I think I was told that Godly sorrow was feeling sorrow that you did something wrong because what you put the Savior through, and because you have a change of heart and you truly want to change, and worldly sorrow was that you were sorry you got caught.
I think I have found a slightly "new" way of looking at that. I think, worldly sorrow is shame. Whether it is a sin or any other imperfection you want to hide from yourself, from God or from the world, the sorrow of shame doesn't lead to the changes that God wants to see happen in our lives. Shame is that thing that holds you back from being completely honest with yourself and others, its that thing where you keep beating yourself up over things, and you don't allow the atonement in your life to fully work and function. You may allow it in part, but as long as you feel shame, I don't think you have fully let it work its enabling power.
Godly sorrow on the other hand requires absolute honesty, absolute humility, and a willingness to go through whatever refining fire you must to have that imperfection burnt, chipped or polished away. It hurts to go through, but in a way that also lifts you up and makes you stronger. As I continue to share more personal things through this blog or with my friends, I am doing it, in part to overcome shame. Shame has held me back for too many years.
Now, I am finding an interesting balance happening in my life. As I share things that I was once a shamed of, I am not always proud of those things, their results and my related past actions. I have a feeling becoming prideful about those things would be another way of worldly sorrow which would be celebrating my mistakes and pretending that they hadn't hurt me, or that I had overcome them myself.
I am feeling shame disappear from my life, because even though I am still not perfect, I know that the atonement is working in my life. That my savior is helping me and using my past experiences to change and shape my future for the better, because I am trusting him completely, I humbled myself and am striving to be completely honest, even when I know I may disappoint myself with the truth. I feel confident that my honesty will bring me nothing but closer to him, as I admit my imperfections and submit them to him to make perfect over time and eternity.
As I share these things with others, I do not do it lightly, I am not doing it to be boastful or to stand out or to say I am better or worse than anyone else. I share these things, because "When thou art converted strengthen thy brethren." I want to help others, I want to make shame disappear from our lives. It doesn't help any of us. I think when we begin to talk openly about our struggles and problems in a way that is honest, and open, without pretense, without shame, it can begin to empower us to move forward.
I am not saying I am anywhere near perfect in these things now, I definitely have a ways to go still, and I still catch myself getting prideful, lying or trying to hide things. When I do, I try to immediately STOP IT. I think this has helped me to get rid of a lot of worldly sorrow, and start to feel the power of the Atonement in ways I have never felt before, in a way that rids my life of shame.
I think when we try to hide, hide from, or ignore our problems and imperfections, then we can't really change that weakness, we can't make it strong, we cant move forward. Basically when we do that, we damn ourselves.
One of my mission presidents once explained to me that "to Damn is to block or stop progress". that's all the more that is. If we are not allowing Christ to help us move forward then we are blocking our progress. I watched a video today that kind of reminded me of this, so I will share the link at the bottom of this post.
Like I said, this is not a complete thought yet, its not a perfect thought, but this is the start of my thought that I am having on Godly Sorrow and worldly sorrow.
There is a scripture that talks about this in Luke 12: 3 "Therefore whatsoever ye have spoken in adarkness shall be heard in the light; and that which ye have bspoken in the ear incclosets shall be proclaimed upon the housetops." and D&C 1: 3 "And the arebellious shall be bpierced with much csorrow; for their iniquities shall be dspoken upon the housetops, and their secret acts shall be revealed."
This scripture used to scare me, I think, because I didn't want to have any bad thing I had done, or imperfection shouted for all to hear. Now, I don't really care, because I know that isn't who I am. It isn't what I am. I know that Christ has helped to create a real change in me, a change where I don't want or feel like I need to hide anything any more. I'm not of course going to share all my experiences with everyone, but if they knew them I don't feel it would change anything for me one way or the other. That fear is gone. And now the video I talked about. This is a preview from the Voices of Hope project. Take a listen.
http://youtu.be/7ha6nfTd72Q
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