You know, life is funny. One minute you are all excited planning a trip to Europe, then you get even more excited because you meet Elder Aidukaitas, who is Brazilian, but also in some ways, very Lithuanian.
Then the next minute you are talking to your grandpa on the phone, the one that is very sick, and probably not going to last much longer, and you are struggling to understand what he is saying because he just sounds so tired, and he is struggling to understand you.
And you go home, you cook amazing food, you do laundry, and you plan your trip a bit more and watch master chef without another though in your head. Suddenly its time to get ready for bed, and you take one last look at Facebook and happen to notice that a friend from your mission has passed away.
Then you think about the moments when he was a friend to you ( long after you got home from your mission) and cheered you up and gave you hope in a difficult trial. You think about how much seven years can change things, and you are astounded. Frantically you have to search for your mission memory book, the one where all the members and some of your fellow missionaries wrote thoughts to you. You have to find it, and you have to remember what he wrote. All you can think of was that he knew you liked to collect coins so he put a picture of a lat giving a fig that said "Neviens Lats" and you have to find that Lat.
And you start reading every page, and the things all the people wrote, and you realize that you might not talk to most of them regularly, but you facebook stalk them occasionally because you still love them and you still care how they are doing, and you wish you could be more in touch. And then you think about your trip again, and you realize that the most important thing on this trip isn't the castles you will see in Ireland, its the people you will see in Latvia, Lithuania and Ireland, and you realized that a silent nagging has been going on in the back of you head since the moment you left, begging you to return and visit again, not the castles or the war memorials.
Not amber encrusted flutes, or woven book marks, or leather books. Not the marshrutes, or the food, or the street you walked, but the people who changed your life when you were trying to change theirs. The place that taught you who you were and what you were made of, and how possible it is to love everyone so much it hurts, and to never have that feeling completely leave or go away.
There isn't a single one of you, member, investigator, person I talked to on the street, that I don't think of from time to time. I might not be able to remember your name, but I forgot my best friend of seven years name once, so that isn't surprising. But when I can see, or hear what has become of you I am sad when life is not good to you, and I am happy when you are happy, and sometimes I am sad because I know you could be happier, but we are all human and lets face it sometimes we are all incredibly short sighted and stupid. I hope you feel the same about me, I am also sometimes short sighted and stupid. its not a judgement, it doesn't diminish love, sometimes its hard to watch people struggle.
I am off track now. I want you all, my every friend, from elementary school to my dear friends in my family ward now and everyone in between to know how very very much I love each of you. If I have lost track of you, I still haven't forgotten you, and sometimes I'm so frustrated because I don't know how you are and I want to (yes you Hironori Yamagata!!! are you still alive ? I don't know!!)
To me, life is meaningless without people, and without love, the pure love of Christ type. I love people, even the stupid ones (all of us are, some more than others.) I don't forget you, even if I misplace you. I just want you to know that.
I found my memory book. It fell behind my bookshelf and got a bit busted up, but I thought what my friend Alex had written was pretty insightful and awesome, so I'll share part of it.
"Sometimes life may seem unfair and cruel, and people around us may seem cruel but don't forget it was never easy for anyone and you are no exception." That is a true statement. Its actually helped me a few times to put things in perspective. He then went on to thank me for my awesomeness, so that was a positive personal note, and then he put a few pictures of himself and said "I hope you will like these pictures and hopefully it will be enough for you to remember me."
Alex, It was enough ,I have never ever forgotten you. I hope that those who have met you never do either. And if it helps, Here is a picture. You were a good man, we will meet again.
Then the next minute you are talking to your grandpa on the phone, the one that is very sick, and probably not going to last much longer, and you are struggling to understand what he is saying because he just sounds so tired, and he is struggling to understand you.
And you go home, you cook amazing food, you do laundry, and you plan your trip a bit more and watch master chef without another though in your head. Suddenly its time to get ready for bed, and you take one last look at Facebook and happen to notice that a friend from your mission has passed away.
Then you think about the moments when he was a friend to you ( long after you got home from your mission) and cheered you up and gave you hope in a difficult trial. You think about how much seven years can change things, and you are astounded. Frantically you have to search for your mission memory book, the one where all the members and some of your fellow missionaries wrote thoughts to you. You have to find it, and you have to remember what he wrote. All you can think of was that he knew you liked to collect coins so he put a picture of a lat giving a fig that said "Neviens Lats" and you have to find that Lat.
And you start reading every page, and the things all the people wrote, and you realize that you might not talk to most of them regularly, but you facebook stalk them occasionally because you still love them and you still care how they are doing, and you wish you could be more in touch. And then you think about your trip again, and you realize that the most important thing on this trip isn't the castles you will see in Ireland, its the people you will see in Latvia, Lithuania and Ireland, and you realized that a silent nagging has been going on in the back of you head since the moment you left, begging you to return and visit again, not the castles or the war memorials.
Not amber encrusted flutes, or woven book marks, or leather books. Not the marshrutes, or the food, or the street you walked, but the people who changed your life when you were trying to change theirs. The place that taught you who you were and what you were made of, and how possible it is to love everyone so much it hurts, and to never have that feeling completely leave or go away.
There isn't a single one of you, member, investigator, person I talked to on the street, that I don't think of from time to time. I might not be able to remember your name, but I forgot my best friend of seven years name once, so that isn't surprising. But when I can see, or hear what has become of you I am sad when life is not good to you, and I am happy when you are happy, and sometimes I am sad because I know you could be happier, but we are all human and lets face it sometimes we are all incredibly short sighted and stupid. I hope you feel the same about me, I am also sometimes short sighted and stupid. its not a judgement, it doesn't diminish love, sometimes its hard to watch people struggle.
I am off track now. I want you all, my every friend, from elementary school to my dear friends in my family ward now and everyone in between to know how very very much I love each of you. If I have lost track of you, I still haven't forgotten you, and sometimes I'm so frustrated because I don't know how you are and I want to (yes you Hironori Yamagata!!! are you still alive ? I don't know!!)
To me, life is meaningless without people, and without love, the pure love of Christ type. I love people, even the stupid ones (all of us are, some more than others.) I don't forget you, even if I misplace you. I just want you to know that.
I found my memory book. It fell behind my bookshelf and got a bit busted up, but I thought what my friend Alex had written was pretty insightful and awesome, so I'll share part of it.
"Sometimes life may seem unfair and cruel, and people around us may seem cruel but don't forget it was never easy for anyone and you are no exception." That is a true statement. Its actually helped me a few times to put things in perspective. He then went on to thank me for my awesomeness, so that was a positive personal note, and then he put a few pictures of himself and said "I hope you will like these pictures and hopefully it will be enough for you to remember me."
Alex, It was enough ,I have never ever forgotten you. I hope that those who have met you never do either. And if it helps, Here is a picture. You were a good man, we will meet again.
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