Sometimes my ability to dig in and be as stubborn as a kid with their fingers in their ear, singing "la la la la la la lalala la la" and not listen to God amazes me.
Man, I dont know how I was as an actually child, but I am one stinkin stubborn adult. Even if it means (which it usually does) that I am just prolonging my own misery, I have an ability to hunker down in there and not listen at all. This is when God shows his parenting skills and lovingly all my fun holiday plans were cancled, and most of my friends went away for a holiday weekend, whilst giving me an extended time out- Ironically alone in my room/house/tent in the back yard.
I will not say this entire weekend was void of all fun and socialization. At the moments I was on the verge of going mad, God sent me to a different corner, with a friend- to visit, or play Yahtzee or shoot off some fun fireworks. But the vast majority of my 4.5 day holiday was spent in solitude. In my house. With my dog. Or, possibly in my tent on the deck.
At various points in my weekend, the spirit instructed me to go to my journal and write out the feelings I needed to deal with, so I could get them out and move on. At which point, I promptly found a movie to watch, something to clean or weed whack, I spend about 5 hrs and way too much money at wal-mart, and then I painted my cell phone cover, just to avoid doing what I knew would make me feel better about life, and help me move forward so I could start to have fun again for realz.
Well, between the solitude, and fast Sunday hunger pains, God finally won out over my ignoring him, and instantly I feel quite a bit better. I dont know if I will ever learn. In fact, I knew that if I just did as I felt I should I would feel better, but I guess I just wanted to be miserable a bit longer. Dont know why, that doesn't make sense, but its true.
Man, I dont know how I was as an actually child, but I am one stinkin stubborn adult. Even if it means (which it usually does) that I am just prolonging my own misery, I have an ability to hunker down in there and not listen at all. This is when God shows his parenting skills and lovingly all my fun holiday plans were cancled, and most of my friends went away for a holiday weekend, whilst giving me an extended time out- Ironically alone in my room/house/tent in the back yard.
I will not say this entire weekend was void of all fun and socialization. At the moments I was on the verge of going mad, God sent me to a different corner, with a friend- to visit, or play Yahtzee or shoot off some fun fireworks. But the vast majority of my 4.5 day holiday was spent in solitude. In my house. With my dog. Or, possibly in my tent on the deck.
At various points in my weekend, the spirit instructed me to go to my journal and write out the feelings I needed to deal with, so I could get them out and move on. At which point, I promptly found a movie to watch, something to clean or weed whack, I spend about 5 hrs and way too much money at wal-mart, and then I painted my cell phone cover, just to avoid doing what I knew would make me feel better about life, and help me move forward so I could start to have fun again for realz.
Well, between the solitude, and fast Sunday hunger pains, God finally won out over my ignoring him, and instantly I feel quite a bit better. I dont know if I will ever learn. In fact, I knew that if I just did as I felt I should I would feel better, but I guess I just wanted to be miserable a bit longer. Dont know why, that doesn't make sense, but its true.
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