If I have learned anything in my life, its that life is often awkward, and when life is awkward, you can slink away from it, or you can greet it with open and loving arms. The first option, usually means you are going to miss out on something awesome because of fear and awkwardness. The second option is probably going to be excruciating, but often pays a high reward for the risk.
So, how did I learn this lesson? As a life long flee-er of conflict and awkwardness I owe what many of you call bravery to a really fine man I once dated. He was set up to be my blind date, but I cheated and Facebook stalked him, and then decided to risk it all and contact him before hand for introductions. As we chatted and prepared for the dreaded face to face meeting, we both knew there would be awkward moments. There already had been, but hiding behind a computer it was a lot less scary. So this brilliant man instituted a way we could laugh and get out of the painfulness of it all, should anything truly awkward happen (and it did). He instituted the sign of the awkward turtle.
The sign of the awkward turtle- putting one hand palm down on top of the other (also palm down) and wiggling or rotating both your thumbs. This is the awkward turtle. and his function was to acknowledge that big fat awkward elephant in the room, so everyone could just move on with minimal embarrassment. On the night that we did meet, we went rock climbing, and didn't pass the belaying first, but he belayed me any way. And he did my harness wrong (which could have probably killed or injured me, but sometimes you live on the edge right? no it was stupid, don't do that). Any way, eventually we both got in sever trouble for it, and rightly so. and he felt embarrassed, and i felt embarrassed for me and embarrassed for him, because he got chastised the most. The sign of the awkward turtle saved the night and it ended up being one of my best dates ever, that turned into two weeks of dates followed by a severely broken heart, with an even bigger awkward turtle moment, but no need to go into that, it no longer matters. at all.
So in life, sometimes people die and we don't quite know what to say. we are uncomfortable with that feeling, it is an awkward painful moment. I'm feeling that moment a lot right now. Or sometimes people say stuff about us that isn't true, relationships go a rye, people do things we disagree with, and fights happen, and sometimes Hope Solo makes comments the media shame her for and her team mates more awkwardly heap on the shame and make things more awkward and horrible.
You know what- Pause- So I don't think anyone agrees with what Hope said post match. I think Hope right now is probably like- oh sh!t, maybe that wasn't the smartest thing to say. But, you know she is human, and some humans just don't handle things like that well, I don't think its the most horrible thing on the planet to be frustrated after loosing a game and call someone a coward for not playing the way you expected. Its not polite, and its really not the smartest comment, because Sweden was tactically brilliant to do that. But, all of her team mates calling Hope out, all this crap from the media about it- its WORSE than what Hope said. Stop shaming the woman, lets just all bring out the sign of the awkward turtle. Embrace the fact that its an awkward situation, maybe help Hope not talk to reporters when shes heated, and stop making the awkward and the pain WORSE!!!
So- UN pause- basically what I have learned in life is that awkward happens. and you can either embraces that it is awkward, acknowledge awkward. give awkward a big hug and tell it that you love it, or make things worse and miss out on so much good that could have been. Pause again- Megan Rapinoe is someone I massively look up to, but reading her comments about Hopes comments, well. Megan is human too. It wasn't very inspiring to see her jumping on the shame Hope bandwagon. Yes, Hope could have reacted better if she wasn't Hope Solo. She is Hope Solo, so she was probably doing her best, and could have said much worse. How about instead of shaming Hope, her team starts saying- Hope is a human, She says dumb stuff sometimes. It doesn't make her a bad person, She is a great and passionate goalie, and Sweden, by the way, were tactically brilliant. We can say nice things about both sides, and not make anyone a bad guy and tear them down. Megan- you are still my inspiration, and I respect your human reaction to your team mates human reaction, but enough of this already everyone!! quit it with the Hope shaming. just quit. lets pull out the awkward turtle and just admit, we are all human and we are all saying really stupid and more damaging things by continuing to talk about this in this way.
UN PAUSE-
So in summary life is full of humans and awkward. When we open up and are vulnerable, we are human and awkward. When we get hurt, or are in pain its awkward. None of us are perfect and we all say and do things we shouldn't and its awkward. Why then don't we just fly our awkward turtles, laugh a bit at our pain, hug it out, and embrace the awkward. Come to think of it, in another USWNT example, I'm pretty sure that's what Abby Wambach did with her DUI. AWKWARD TURTLE- sorry everyone. To say this all in a more Brene Brown sort of verbiage- when something happens that makes us want to disconnect from humanity, let us wisely and carefully find a way to keep connecting and being vulnerable. In the process it will probably come out awkward and wrong, but if we embrace that we can say "Hey, I'm awkward, how are you, are you awkward too? oh good, there is a pair of us.. lets just be awkward friends and enjoy that."
Its not bravery, or it shouldn't be to acknowledge and embrace those awkward things that happened and keep connecting. What it is, is really the only way to heal a horrible situation, to get through those horrible painful feelings.
I don't know. As always I'm just kind of rambling, I'm not even sure this made sense because it turned into a rant about people throwing Hope Solo under the bus. There are a lot worse things people have done that should actually be receiving scrutiny worthy of correction for not being "in the Olympic spirit" or even a remotely decent thing to do (cough, cough Ryan Lochte)
But, life with its little awkward times, the sooner we are all OK with those truly awkward moments that get big that shouldn't, and acknowledge that's just how it is, humans are awkward, and embrace it, the less pain and awkward we will all have to deal with on the day to day. Learn to love awkward, and it will start to love you back. learn to love your humanity, and it will human you back. um.. . i don't know what that means... awkward turtle... k bye.
AWWWWWWWWKWARD HUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
I love you awkwardness, my friend.
So, how did I learn this lesson? As a life long flee-er of conflict and awkwardness I owe what many of you call bravery to a really fine man I once dated. He was set up to be my blind date, but I cheated and Facebook stalked him, and then decided to risk it all and contact him before hand for introductions. As we chatted and prepared for the dreaded face to face meeting, we both knew there would be awkward moments. There already had been, but hiding behind a computer it was a lot less scary. So this brilliant man instituted a way we could laugh and get out of the painfulness of it all, should anything truly awkward happen (and it did). He instituted the sign of the awkward turtle.
The sign of the awkward turtle- putting one hand palm down on top of the other (also palm down) and wiggling or rotating both your thumbs. This is the awkward turtle. and his function was to acknowledge that big fat awkward elephant in the room, so everyone could just move on with minimal embarrassment. On the night that we did meet, we went rock climbing, and didn't pass the belaying first, but he belayed me any way. And he did my harness wrong (which could have probably killed or injured me, but sometimes you live on the edge right? no it was stupid, don't do that). Any way, eventually we both got in sever trouble for it, and rightly so. and he felt embarrassed, and i felt embarrassed for me and embarrassed for him, because he got chastised the most. The sign of the awkward turtle saved the night and it ended up being one of my best dates ever, that turned into two weeks of dates followed by a severely broken heart, with an even bigger awkward turtle moment, but no need to go into that, it no longer matters. at all.
So in life, sometimes people die and we don't quite know what to say. we are uncomfortable with that feeling, it is an awkward painful moment. I'm feeling that moment a lot right now. Or sometimes people say stuff about us that isn't true, relationships go a rye, people do things we disagree with, and fights happen, and sometimes Hope Solo makes comments the media shame her for and her team mates more awkwardly heap on the shame and make things more awkward and horrible.
You know what- Pause- So I don't think anyone agrees with what Hope said post match. I think Hope right now is probably like- oh sh!t, maybe that wasn't the smartest thing to say. But, you know she is human, and some humans just don't handle things like that well, I don't think its the most horrible thing on the planet to be frustrated after loosing a game and call someone a coward for not playing the way you expected. Its not polite, and its really not the smartest comment, because Sweden was tactically brilliant to do that. But, all of her team mates calling Hope out, all this crap from the media about it- its WORSE than what Hope said. Stop shaming the woman, lets just all bring out the sign of the awkward turtle. Embrace the fact that its an awkward situation, maybe help Hope not talk to reporters when shes heated, and stop making the awkward and the pain WORSE!!!
So- UN pause- basically what I have learned in life is that awkward happens. and you can either embraces that it is awkward, acknowledge awkward. give awkward a big hug and tell it that you love it, or make things worse and miss out on so much good that could have been. Pause again- Megan Rapinoe is someone I massively look up to, but reading her comments about Hopes comments, well. Megan is human too. It wasn't very inspiring to see her jumping on the shame Hope bandwagon. Yes, Hope could have reacted better if she wasn't Hope Solo. She is Hope Solo, so she was probably doing her best, and could have said much worse. How about instead of shaming Hope, her team starts saying- Hope is a human, She says dumb stuff sometimes. It doesn't make her a bad person, She is a great and passionate goalie, and Sweden, by the way, were tactically brilliant. We can say nice things about both sides, and not make anyone a bad guy and tear them down. Megan- you are still my inspiration, and I respect your human reaction to your team mates human reaction, but enough of this already everyone!! quit it with the Hope shaming. just quit. lets pull out the awkward turtle and just admit, we are all human and we are all saying really stupid and more damaging things by continuing to talk about this in this way.
UN PAUSE-
So in summary life is full of humans and awkward. When we open up and are vulnerable, we are human and awkward. When we get hurt, or are in pain its awkward. None of us are perfect and we all say and do things we shouldn't and its awkward. Why then don't we just fly our awkward turtles, laugh a bit at our pain, hug it out, and embrace the awkward. Come to think of it, in another USWNT example, I'm pretty sure that's what Abby Wambach did with her DUI. AWKWARD TURTLE- sorry everyone. To say this all in a more Brene Brown sort of verbiage- when something happens that makes us want to disconnect from humanity, let us wisely and carefully find a way to keep connecting and being vulnerable. In the process it will probably come out awkward and wrong, but if we embrace that we can say "Hey, I'm awkward, how are you, are you awkward too? oh good, there is a pair of us.. lets just be awkward friends and enjoy that."
Its not bravery, or it shouldn't be to acknowledge and embrace those awkward things that happened and keep connecting. What it is, is really the only way to heal a horrible situation, to get through those horrible painful feelings.
I don't know. As always I'm just kind of rambling, I'm not even sure this made sense because it turned into a rant about people throwing Hope Solo under the bus. There are a lot worse things people have done that should actually be receiving scrutiny worthy of correction for not being "in the Olympic spirit" or even a remotely decent thing to do (cough, cough Ryan Lochte)
But, life with its little awkward times, the sooner we are all OK with those truly awkward moments that get big that shouldn't, and acknowledge that's just how it is, humans are awkward, and embrace it, the less pain and awkward we will all have to deal with on the day to day. Learn to love awkward, and it will start to love you back. learn to love your humanity, and it will human you back. um.. . i don't know what that means... awkward turtle... k bye.
AWWWWWWWWKWARD HUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
I love you awkwardness, my friend.
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