I love My Home Evening group

You know, sometimes I really under appreciate them, but tonight I realized just how much I do love my Home Evening group. They are all so fun and interesting, even when I feel pretty crappy they make me smile. I learned alot about how homogenized milk is useless crap today for one, and  that Jake can have a crazy imagination and if he is ever in charge of a haunted house I am not going there because I would never recover. Bottom line, I love me group. I learn so much from them and at a minimum am  very entertained for an hour and a half on Mondays. and we had a decent spiritual discussion. I encourage everyone everywhere to discover the joy and amusement that comes from having Family Home Evenings, and If you are a YSA in a ward or branch with home evening groups, I encourage you to attend. You never know what you may gain from it.

When I'm sick, I sleep on the couch. When I'm not I sleep in my bed.

I just woke up from a five hour nap on the couch. I came home from work today, as pale as a ghost and feeling very weak and nauseous.  The second I walked in  the door I grabbed a blanket and passed out on the couch. I vaguely remember two other people showing up at various times to walk my dog for me, which I was grateful for because he kept dropping a Frisbee on my head ever five seconds. 
 At one point when I woke up I kinda realized something, Except for very rare occasions I sleep on the couch when I am sick. You'd think my own bed would be more comfortable and preferable, but no, if I am sick, I want the couch. I think it comes back to when I was a kid,  my mom always had us sleep on the couch when we were sick so that she could have easier access to helping us (I think, I don't really remember but this makes sense.). 
Now my mom is no longer here to help me but sleeping on the couch is closer to the kitchen, if I need water or something, but further from the bathroom- so that's a draw back. My own bed wouldn't have woke me up when people came to walk my dog, but if someone came without their own key I could easily get to the door to contaminate them.  I still like sleeping on the couch when I am sick. Its somehow comforting.

"When You're My Age, And Not Married Yet..."

I will never forget when I was about 20 years old, and going to Snow College, in Ephraim, UT (GREAT school by the way, I highly recommend it to anyone), there was a 28 year old New Zealander called "Pup" (yes, that was a nick name). Pup was, well, Pup was a hottie by any definition of the word. Brilliant green eyes, muscles upon muscles and that accent! Whoa! yeah. I was way interested in him, but way too young for him. So I tried to set him up with a similarly aged cousin (at least maybe we could get some good genes like that in the family, yeah?). During Said attempted Pup said something to me that I have NEVER forgotten. He said "When you get to be my age, and your not married yet then there is something wrong with you" 
   To Pups defense, for those of you thinking that is horribly cruel thing to say about yourself or anyone else, when you get to be my age (3 months from 30), and  you are still not married, well I think at least subconsciously you have to have thought that about yourself at least once.  Now, I just realized I had done this about myself the other night. Usually I remember Pups words when I am starting to go on dates with someone that seems to be interested in me, and I begin to question about the guy- Hold on a minute, you are nearly 30 and not married, why? there has to be a reason, am I missing something that is going to sneak up and bite me in the butt later?  I think it is good to be a little cautious, but I don't want this question to make me constantly run away or nit pick myself eternally out of marriage, but  I'll be honest, I do ask myself that question about people. 
 In all fairness, I realized while talking to a friend last night, I do the same thing to myself. So its fair. You see, when I am certain and my friends confirm a guy seems to really like me, I ask why. I mean, I know I am supremely awesome and super talented and all that but why do you like me so much when so many others did not?  and then the root question finally comes out- If I am this old and not married, surely you must realize that   
there is a reason in fact that I am not married yet? right?  well, it sounds harsh, but its true, there is, or in my opinion, was,  a reason. I have worked on that reason and feel I am nearly ready now, just lacking the man. 
 I am an extremely honest and open person, so I will tell you why I am not yet married- I saw too many bad marriages around me growing up. Too many extended relatives in abusive marriages, too many marrying cheaters, and beaters, etc.  and on top of it I heard some constant criticisms  and people in marriages that have stayed together and are relatively "happy" marriages constantly tell me for as long as I remember that they had made a mistake and wished they never had gotten married to whom they did.
 All of this persuaded me that  I had better be extremely cautious in choosing someone that I believe I will be married to through out all eternity. I am still cautious, but now it is within reason, and I have come to believe that marriage can be a good and happy thing, and is now something I actually desire, where as until about eight months ago that was  very defiantly not the case if I am honest.  
 What I came to realize talking to my friend last night, was that alot of people ask the same question- why would you be interested in me? is this a game?  and also Why are you so old and still not married?  With the increasing numbers of us older singles, I think its important we recognize why we are at where we are, but also realize that there is a balance, and no one is perfect. Just some food for thought, on an old thought that keeps returning to my head. Pup, I don't know where you are or where you went, but I still believe there is a lot less wrong with you, than you thought. lots of love to you man, where ever you are. 

If I write about a DATE in the title will you read this? I bet so.

So, I have a lot to talk to everyone about, and yes, there is a date to mention. Right now I have a massive headache and I feel like my brain may explode. its been that way for a few days, so I need to get this all out. Its been a crazy month. But Saturday, I learned something about myself- Sometimes to accomplish one goal, I need to focus on another. 
 So Saturday morning at the rink, My coach asked me what my goals were- did I want to test?  compete?  Shows? What? and I said "oh yes, I want to keep doing all those, but first I just want to focus on getting my Axel." well my coach pointed out to me that, even though it was a good goal, and important, I needed to keep working on everything, including my foot work, if I were to both get my Axel and progress on in my testing. Its true, My lack of practicing my "moves in the field" as they are called had hurt my progress on the Axel. all those boring little things like three turns help you with arm position and take offs and all that important stuff to not die on the Axel. 
   So tonight, on a related but completely different note, I skipped Home Evening group, and went and had Family Home Evening with my friend Ali and her baby Naomi. I have felt so off balance since I got home from my road trip to Utah, and I just needed an evening with a real family, discussing spiritual things and getting all this stuff and emotion out of my head. So that is what we did, and that was what I needed. I felt really bad, because I guess I was supposed to do the lesson for my group, but I completely had forgot about it and wouldn't have been prepared any way. 
 The problem you see, is that like my Axel, I had alot invested emotionally in this road trip- seeing friends and family, old mission presidents and Baltic peoples, oh and yeah, I did a road trip across 900 miles each way and had dinner with my family and the guys family together and all our families were putting massive pressure on the situation. and I came back and just wanted to write about it, but I know people that were involved read this blog. But you know what, I just have to say what I just  have to say, and I can't hold it in any more.
    I will be honest that I went into that trip with a lot of big expectations, and pressure, from myself and from outside. I had developed a great friendship over a year- long distance, and I wanted to meet the man in person and see what happened. I got scared and nervous, but I talked myself out of fear, and despite the pressure I think I gave the most fair and honest chance I could to seeing how things went. 
 It was an OK drive from Seattle to Utah. General Conference was really good, but I didn't feel anything specifically for me like last time, just a lot of good general stuff to keep me on the path.  I learned alot though, about me, and my guy friend. Road trips are good for that, getting to know people, I think.  It weeds out alot of fronts you could other wise have the energy to put up. Dinner wasn' too bad except when a certain sister in law cornered the guy and asked his intentions ( I love you Mel, but if you do that again. . . ) 
 well, there was that, and I think I just had so much time running around visiting friends, and trying to spend time with my mom, but not really spending quality time, just like quantity time, that it was hard. I think everyone  got rushed, except maybe Natalie who is really fortunate, and awesome.  
      
 There was just tension and friction in the air. We got back to Seattle and had an amazing game night and temple night with my friends here, and my guy friend. We went on like a dozen dates in three days - the zoo, the aquarium, the space needle and a bunch of other places.  Well we came to the end of it and I had some thinking to do ,because what I discovered was  that I found him in the friend zone ,and that was all, and it was tough and i didn't want to say it because i was afraid people would think i was running away again, I was afraid I was running away again, plus how many months ago did I get put in the friend zone and I know how much that hurts. 
   
   Well, but I knew I had to be honest. So as soon as I checked I wasn't running away I informed my friend he was in the friend zone. That is hard,  but it was necessary, because its true and its not going to change  no matter how many tries I give it. But i still had fun ,and it was a great trip, and I wrote a short story out of it, so there ya go. 


 but any way, like my Axel, I was told tonight by Ali, to focus on other things so I am not worn out by all that happened that week, and what I want and what I think I need and everything, So I will focus on some other things, like my calling for a bit, and that will be good for me. I am going to write a novel in November. I am looking forward to it. I hope that brings everyone up to speed. if you are confused, i was trying to be a little ambiguous because I don't want to embarrass my friend or anything, he still is a great friend. but I have to write, its just how I am. good night all. there is you update.

Bored At Work? 10 Things You Can Do To Make A Boring Job Fun

  Ever had one of those days you just didn't want to be at work, and the day just dragged on and on? Ever had a week of that?  It doesn't matter what your job is, everyone has days they just don't want to be there. Some people have jobs that they never want to be there- Telemarketing comes to mind.  Well, today I had a blast at work, so I thought I might share part of my secret to enjoying a day back at work after two weeks off- resulting in piles and piles of boring crap, that I actually enjoyed working on. So adapted for multiple types of work, here are ten of those ideas to help you out. 


1- Listen to exciting soundtrack music from John Williams!!! What could spice up a boring day at the office more than Indiana Jones, Star Wars, Jurassic Park, or Harry Potter theme music. 


2- While listening to music from #1, go and get the mail, imagine you are being chased down the corridor by a giant stone, storm troopers, a T-Rex,  or HE WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED!! AHAHAHAHA 


3- Not everyone can listen to music at work. If you work somewhere exciting like a Wal-Mart, or a bank, you can always imagine cool back stories on the people who come in to share with your friends later- Maybe D.B. Cooper visited your bank to deposit some moist and moldy old money, or maybe that woman returning the car seat is really part of SG-1, and took it to an alien planet  where all those crusty boogers multiplied so quickly.  


4- If you are lucky enough to work in a Lab of sorts, your fun could be endless!!!  You could pretend you are  the mad doctor creating Frankenstein. after every sample result comes back you could laugh a mad laugh and go "its alive!!" 


5- If you work fast food, you can imagine you are in the fast food Olympics, make your country proud, Go for the gold!!!


6- if you get to drive, oh how lucky you are- Indy five hundred time!! just don't get a ticket. or maybe better yet, you could pretend you are a CIA agent, trying to get evidence to the home base before enemy spies can track you down and destroy the evidence. 


7- really boring office job? spend a day imagining you are Pam from the office. decided which office character each of your co-workers really reminds you of.


8- write a parody in your head about your job, to whatever song you are listening to. I made one once, it was Katy Perry's Firework, and I changed it to  "oh baby your a TCO" which none of you would get because you don't know what a TCO is.  One time me and my co-workers made ourselves into a fictional band, playing staplers, and the computer key board. we named ourselves after a number code we had to enter into the computer for errors. Or you could always just go test out the acoustics in the bathroom. (hopefully its empty when you start singing) 


9- If you are lucky enough to commute to work by ferry each day, and have an awesome view of the water and ferries, you can always look out and see why the boats are stopping, and ask yourself- did someone jump today, yet again? or  Is that an orca down there? is that why the slowed? 


10-  If all else fails turn your job into a competition against yourself. time yourself. Can I do this faster and better than I did yesterday? or maybe  Can I answer the phone and sound more professional and awesome than I did yesterday? or if you are a garbage man - can I get all that garbage in the truck under 3 minutes without spilling it all over the road?   




see, work can be fun, no mater what it is. I didn't cover all jobs here today, but I think you get the idea. Get to work you slackers!!!

What I'm Trying To Say Is, Thank You, I'm Glad You Exist, Friend.

Well, Today was one of those days that just reminds me of how much God loves me, and how much he is aware of my needs, and all our needs really. Today at church we had a change in the Bishopric and that always makes one think. Because God has put into my path people who have had such an impact and made such a change in me that I will forever be grateful for their existence, I count them among my best friends.  But, others have made such gradual adjustments to me and my life I sometimes miss it. Sister Gibbons, Thank you. I always appreciated your being around, and all that I learned from you in choir, and just your life advice, but I don't think I recognized how much you have impacted me, and all the Bishopric wives in our ward. Now, I just had another interruption, just after I started to write this blog that actually completely applies to it.  In Relief Society today we had a lesson, and it reminded me of well, who I used to be, some past trials I had to get through, and a friend, who happened to be there, who because of her experiences and stories that she chose to share with me at just the time I was in need of them. I don't think I will ever be able to say anything more than that. I will really probably never be adequately able to thank my friend, or ever explain to her what she did for me, but I wanted to try -again- because today reminded me of that sense of eternal indebtedness I feel to her.  So I sent her a text, and failed to say  anything at all of what or why I felt like I did, because I can't. I don't know how.  But , a short while after I sent the text, I got the interrupting phone call from her, and apparently my text came when she needed it most. So what I learned from this is that God is taking care of us, and he knows who to put in our life and when. When we express gratitude to that friend, and to God you never know you and that friend may both benefit from it, or maybe  only you will, and it will just be nice words to them, but you never know, so say it anyway.  So, what I am saying to all of you, each of you, Ali who sits by me when I sing loud and miss the notes I choir, Jon who has taken my phone calls and texts whenever I need you, to Brielle who always supports me in my crazy ideas, to sister Gibons, to sister Heartman, To sister La Mar,  to sister Stoner, to mom and dad, to Jen and Karen, to Michelle for staying up late nights talking to me, to Jons dad for reading my blogs with bad spelling, to my teachers and leaders and mission presidents, my companions, my roommates, and my family back in Utah, and Amanda, and Jill, and Hannah, To all of you who have been by my side, who have taught me, who have made me who I am today - What I am trying to say is thank YOU, I am glad YOU exist. Friend.  You and the friend who called, you have all made me who I am today, and I am glad, because I have become awesome, and am growing awesomer everyday, and a year ago, I was living well below my privilege and you have changed my life FOREVER.  Merci, Danke, Spaciba, Aciu, Paldies, Gracias, Kiitos, Arigato, Sheshi !!!

Finding My Center- Center Ice, Center Bike, Center Forget Me Not...

So, today was a very busy day, but very very awesome. I woke up early and headed to the rink for the first time in three months. I cannot even begin to explain the calm and peace I felt as my blades hit the frozen surface and the cool crisp smell of  ice filled my nostrils. Soon my coach came (like as soon as I hit the ice) and we started going over footwork stuff. I had gotten a little rusty, but not bad really at all. And then, It was time to jump, and I was still getting some pretty big air even though I was out of practice. I did all my jumps Waltz to Lutz and then I did them in combination with either a toe or a loop. The sensation of flying through the air over the ice, it just brought me a new energy and calm that I can get and find in no other way.  
  Right after ice skating, I went to my friends house and did some repairs on my car. Turns out I needed new break pads stat!!! So my friends dad, who had just pulled up ten minutes earlier on the Harley, decided to take me  on the Harley to NAPA to get all our auto part needs. I love that bike, can I just say!! the only thing that has ever come close to calming, and centering me like Figure Skating is motorcycle rides. AND it was a beautiful day. cruising on the bike through trees and sun and hills and twistys with the wind in my face and hair and soaring free!  So very very nice these two things. I felt at the end I could handle almost anything, even the cost of new breaks on a tight budget.  
Finally tonight, I went to a Relief Society humanitarian night, we worked on all sorts of projects, and I learned some fun Scottish sayings to tell if people are too drunk. and when that was done I got to listen to the General Relief Society broadcast, and in that broadcast President Dieter Uchtdorf talked about the Forget Me Not flower, and five things not to forget. I loved that talk. It was exactly what I needed to hear. The five things not to forget are 1)  have patience and compassion with yourself- God is aware you are not perfect, and that those you think are perfect are also not perfect, but that you are trying. 2) There are wise sacrifices and there are foolish sacrifices (this one was the most for me) i.e.- staying up all night to make a scripture case that I would have worked better on with sleep- foolish,   staying up late at night talking to a friend in need- wise.  3) Find joy and happiness now,  where you are, in the simple things, and not in winning the golden ticket- enjoy the candy bar even if all your dreams don't come true in this instant. 4) Never forget the WHY of the gospel of Jesus Christ. as important as where and what can be, Why lifts us up and inspires us, it give it meaning, not just a motion. 5) never forget that your Heavenly Father knows, loves, and cherishes you.  


enough said. That talk gave me one more thing to find my center. I now feel balanced. Now, just to go to sleep so that I am not being foolish. thanks for letting me share- it was a wonderful calming day. I love You all and so does God. 

Dwindling In Fatigue

So, as you noticed lately my posts are few and far between ,and in recent weeks, pretty crappy. My friends are almost constantly asking me if I am okay. Can I just say to everyone I am fine. I am even happy and quite content right now. I have a lot of true friends that I love and know are loyal to me. I have family that I love and get along with better than ever. I have a calling that is demanding, but in truth, I love it. I have a few good men around (well kind of around, they could live or stay closer and that would make me even happier) that I adore and who seem to adore me (please continue your adoration, I do not find it offensive in the least bit). So what then is the deal with Mandi? sometimes I am supper funny, and then I just get a  look. Well, I will tell you exactly what it is, I am dwindling in fatigue. I run and run and run some more. I think of more and more little projects to do, and I sleep less and less and less. I enjoy all these little projects, they are fun, but time is a precious commodity and in short supply, so sacrifices must be made, and I always make them in the sleep department.  I average 5 hrs of sleep, but it is slowly getting closer to 4. I am doing mostly fine with this, except I can't keep it up much longer, or I am going to just stop caring. My friend Jessica warned me. She does this too, and then you just get emotionally drained. You forget why you are doing anything, and nothing becomes very important. I am near that point. And so, I pledge to you all that I will get some sleep, Soon, I hope. Okay I will sleep when I am dead,  and maybe a little tomorrow. Okay, fine, so that I can love all of you, think rationally, and be funny again, I will get 8 hrs of sleep before Sunday is through. In the meantime, know that I still love you, somewhere deep inside, but to quote a country song  due to a lack of sleep "my give a damn is busted"  So I guess I'd better go fix it, and not swear any more. have a good night and sweet dreams to you all.   (snoring )

Sick Sycorax slickly Snicker at Sloths

So, lately, I have been really tired. At night, when its time to sleep, I am not tired. During the day, I cannot hardly stay awake. the result of this is that I can be very witty and funny, and then just too tired to get anything. One of my friends is sick, she feels really terrible, hasn't been able to eat or sleep because she is in pain. The thing is though, whenever she expresses this it comes out really really funny, and then I feel bad because I am laughing my guts out at her pain. That seems wrong on so many levels, but you know what, she seems okay with it, so I will keep laughing. Now, I think I will go to sleep because my wittiness is disappearing. but in the mean time, if you see a sick Sycorax slickly snickering at sloths, I highly recommend that you call The Doctor, because he knows how to deal with things like that. Me snickering at my sick friend, well, he'd probably just join in, but Sycoraxes are his forte. just sayin'. 

"For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbours, and laugh at them in our turn?"

Tonight I am reminded of one of my favorite quotes from pride and prejudice "For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbours, and laugh at them in our turn?". well, today  i made sport for my Family Home Evening group when I locked my keys in my car. ran into some of them and their families after at the grocery story, and we all had a good laugh about it. unlike times in the past, even though I had a lot to do tonight, and it was a great inconvenience that i was an idiot and locked my keys in my car, I realized that this was an opportunity for others to provide me with service- taking me home to get my keys, we bonded. and for me to provide laughter and entertainment, not only for others, but also for myself. we all laughed, and i feel pretty happy about that. I have a lot to do tonight, so i can't write much, but my friend Jon told me earlier today about some things he could have let get him down and be upset about, but he said that they were "challenges" and he was "winning" so, that's how i look at it today. I had some challenges, and I won, and I had a good laugh, and provided my friends with a good laugh. tomorrow can be your turn, you can make me laugh. I know some lady in Seattle today provided me with a laugh and it was wonderful. i don't even know her, but some skinny blond 40 yr old was wearing an "I love fried chicken" shirt, and carrying around a Pee Wee Herman doll talking to it. i don't think she was insane or on drugs, so i found it really amusing. thanks for the laugh lady!!!

September 11th, some memories

so,  four years ago, i wrote a note about Sept. 11th on FB. I dont really have any new thoughts on the matter, so i will share with you from that note titled "the september 11ths of our lives"    here's to Kim and to others who have gone on.  May we all strive to forgive and love one another at all times.
"

the september 11ths of life

by Mandi Marquardt on Tuesday, September 11, 2007 at 2:43pm

Today is an interesting day for me, its like some strange parelle universe were different times and events are comming together in something that just makes you think about how fragile life is, and how stupid people can be with the way they spend their time here on this earth.
You see today is strange to me. today we remember a tragidy of 150 years ago, - mountain medows masacre- "One hundred and fifty years to the day that 120 emigrant men, women and children were massacred at Mountain Meadows in southern Utah, hundreds of people gathered today in a communal memorial service at the grave site, some 35 miles from Cedar City." - Church News. a tragedy that needn't have happend. and then there was sept. 11,2001, devistating how little people care for eachothers lives.
And today my September 11th 2007 has broght the 2001 current with the memorial of 150 years ago, and with something else. You see, this day makes me think of the Alan Jackson song- "Where were you when the world stoped turning' i thought of that when i woke up this morning at 5 am to go to work, and it was in my head when i went home from work at 7.30 with the stomach flu. I remember where i was. I found out in Geography class, about the twin towers, but i spent that day with my roommates gathered around a small hand crank radio because we were at snow college where often the power goes out, and so it did that day too. There I sat in our living room with Kim, Mindy, Paige, and Phaedra listening to unbelievable news.
Well this morning sept. 11, 2007, at 8 am Kim passed away, from a battle with cancer. She found out she had cancer just 6 months ago, while giving birth to a new born child. she now leaves behind two children and a husband. And though we will all miss Kim, as it often is with death, sadness is not for those who die, but more for those of us left behind. In a world full of killing, and pain we can remember that all the September 11ths of life, as sad as they are, are important reminders to slow down and remember what life is about, what we are here for , to rememeber to treat others with love and respect. and to honor the memories of those who went on before us doing small but great things to help the rest of us, and to remember there is no happiness in hurting others. well these are just a few random thoughts. my prayers are with kims family, And to her tribute and honor i say- Rarely have I met such a brave soul, and a bold defender of truth and honsty. - you see Kim was always honest, even to the point of being painfuly blunt, unless you knew her, and then you knew it was all said in love. she was the kind of friend who would tell you if your hair looked stupid or if you were wearing something out that you shouldn't, or if you were just being an idiot."

Open Mic Night

So tonight me and my friend Ali performed at Forza Coffe co open mic night. We doubled the crowd with the friends we brought in. I don't think there have ever been so many Mormons in a coffee shop in one night. They mainly drank water. ha ha.  so Me and Ali got there too early, and ended up being 2nd and 3rd up.  I was second. Why I volunteered myself to go second is beyond me. I was so thrown off by not knowing what to expect, I messed up one of my chord progressions. it went mostly good though. It was very weird to hear myself sing on a microphone. but it was a great experience, and I will defiantly be doing it again. Next time hopefully I keep it all good. Ali was next and she was AMAZING. I think she was made for performing with a mic. I am made for my living room and campfires, that is where I am happiest playing my songs, for small groups of friends. But I have decided to start doing good things that scare me every day, so next open mic night, come listen to me. maybe I will loose the fear. night all, and thanks to all those that came for a listen. 

Don't miss the boat, and Don' t forget to get off- the Parable of the 13

So about a month ago I experienced a very unique opportunity that I promised I would blog about. My ward every year goes up to Shaw Island in the San Juan Islands of Washington state. There is a group of nuns up there in their retirement years and later that run like 400 achers of farm land. its big work, but lots of fun to go help out. This year was my first trip. I woke up at 3 am on a Saturday, and met my friend Karen to drive to the church. we had to leave  the church no later than 4 am,  or we would miss the ferry, and miss our day on this island.  
 Amazingly 32ish YSA, leaders, and recently married former YSA were up and this ridiculous hour to go do some hard work on a pretty island, and to spend a lot of time in cars and on ferries.  First we drove in our caravan of cars to the Edmonds-Kingson ferry, its a half hour ride, everyone made the boat, and most people went to sleep. Not my car, I was in the party car. We listened to music and danced, and drove off other passengers sitting in our area. ha ha, sorry to the lone man who made a five second attempt to sleep on our end. 
 We drove off the ferry, and miracle of miracles we all made it to our next ferry run- an hour and a half a way ( think- little foggy on time details here) despite loosing time as we had to stop to get gas for someone who didn't plan on driving (we still love you  don't worry ha ha). so we made the Anacortes- San Juan ferry no problem, broken into three groups of ten on a ten passenger ticket, and a few single ticket holders.  At this point as the ferry left the dock, half of our group was sitting up stairs, and half downstairs.  no longer in our car loads, as they parked and left most the cars on the other side.  There was food down stairs, and we had like an hour and a half on the boat, so we all just relaxed, ate breakfast, slept and failed to worry about anything.  
 As a regular ferry commuter, I failed to worry the most. There was a nagging thought in the back of my head saying, really, the group should probably sit together, but I ignored it and figured I would know how to get off when the time was right and could make sure everyone else did too. So we had a long stop at  Orcas Island - about a half hour of just sitting there. Suddenly the boat started to move. we started to get ready to "Disembark the Vessel" and we waited for an announcement and instructions on what to do. I never heard anything. Some people upstairs and down also didn't hear any announcement. Other people heard we were arriving, but no further instruction, and being unfamiliar with ferry travel didn't know what to do. Most of the group that was down stairs barley made it off at all. And when they did get off, they noticed that about half the  group was missing. 
I was with that half. I tryed to get everyone headed down stairs to get off, and as I did, the boat started to pull away from Shaw Island. my instincts told me to find a ferry worker as quickly as possible. I did so. I explained that there were 13 of us, that were to get off, and had got separated from our group. She talked to the Captain who determined we had to keep schedule and couldn't go back.  We could however stay on the ferry and get off at Shaw Island in three hours, giving us only three hours of service time. We knew the group was going to tease us mercilessly for this when we got there. Numerous calls went out to the Bishop and those on land, letting them know the status. The ferry workers asked us to stay together, sit down stairs where they said. so we did so. 

some of the 13 on the second round of ferry

It was long. Really long. we had already spent two hours on the ferry, then added three more. We tried to sleep. We ate a lot, but really we just wanted off the boat and to go work. We talked about some interesting subjects - Robotics and brains, things like that. i learned a lot. Mainly some people who were struggling with unity found a moment to get to know each other, and love each other more. it was three hours of bonding time. 

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Hard work, loads of fun

 I'm a llama!! ha ha

 When we did get off the boat, we were teased mercilessly as expected. especially by the Mother Superior- not as expected. but in the end those that had been there working all day still loved and accepted us, and let us eat lunch with them even though we hadn't worked as long as them. and guess what, because we were tired of sitting and wanted to work so bad, when we got there we did six hours of work in three, and really gave our all. 

  In the end, we all had a lot of fun, and enjoyed serving others. I didn't want to ride ferries again for a while though. we had two hours more of them to get home, and Monday I started my regular two hours of ferry each work day. (that has changed thankfully). but there were lots of fun things too- Ice cream, and llamas. If you ever get the chance, go to Shaw Island, and help the Nuns, its a blast. 

                                            friends in the end- roomies forever!!!

Birds, Beastie Boys, and Bouncing Balls

So, Tonight, I wasn't going to write any more, but then I went to activity night. Activity nights have been, well, dwindling in numbers as of late. not that they are any less fun, people are just getting too lame to show up (Karen you are excused as  you are not feeling well today- oh wait, you kinda actually literally are a little lame at the moment, but you are excused from the other symbolic lame because you texted me with a message for everyone at activity night)  ok so continuing, it was the FUNNEST game of volleyball I have ever played.
 I hate volleyball, I always get hit in the face, today was no exception. We all played horribly. Beckah kept yelling at everyone not to kick the ball, I kept yelling back that "international rules clearly state an allowance for  your foot and limbs other than hands and arms to strike the ball"  Poor Michelle just wanted to get order. Adam (who we have now all confirmed could be a voice double for Rob Smith, my former roommates husband) was just being insanely crazy- pretending to be a wind up monkey with cymbals and all, and having me teach him figure skating jumps in the middle of the game. Poor Jen got hit in the face with the ball by Isaac who was taking crazy shots, and whistling the Beastie Boys song "GIRLS"  it took a while to figure out what the song was, and when we did all I could remember was "Girls to wash the dishes" that is a great line.  


any way,  we had a twelve year old on the court.Mike's phone kept going off playing "Firework" and the people sitting in the hall kept closing the gym door- making it hot, isolated and uninviting, so we would open it, Then some idiot brought a bird to the church again, which I think is wrong as its probably a health worry, and a safety worry, and I don't want your stupid bird any where near me. 
 any way, eventually we quit keeping score (did we ever start?) because my team was very definitely loosing. and then it all disintegrated and we made up a new game, as long as the ball is bouncing, hit it and keep it going. This was the most fun game in the world, and I must say, Activity night tonight, despite small numbers was AWESOME. Also a thank to Julie, because since she started dating him, Isaac has become supper entertaining and fun at all our activity nights, and his songs, swats, and other antics tonight were no exception. Rock on! Play on! goodnight. 

A Fun First Date Story

So, last Saturday I had a date!!! It was loads of fun.  He came over and picked me up, and he came to the front door and knocked and waited for me to answer. He didn't sit in the car and honk the horn- 5 gold stars from the Committee for the Recognition of Awesome People for that. 
He came and walked me to my side of the car, and opened the car door for me. 5 gold stars.  We went to a Dr Who pot luck party and my friends house. He brought food for it, as did I - 5 gold stars to us both.  He was going to cook his food himself, and I know from previous experience he is an excellent cook, but he ran out of time- so 5 bronze stars for the thought. 
 He had only seen old Dr Who episodes, and not many, so we filled him in on back story, and we (me and my friend Ali) practiced playing our songs for an upcoming open mic night, so for sitting through hours of Dr who, and guitar, and not complaining but loving it, despite being lost, five gold stars for that. we had fun, we talked , we socialized.  and when it was over at 9 pm, we wanted to go for a walk somewhere, but it was already dark, so we figured most the parks were closed at dusk.
 we took back roads to my house and star gazed. then went to my house and star gazed some more. Finding Ursula major and minor, and Orion's belt, and spotting possibly a planet- 5 gold stars. Randomly liking to learn languages like me- five gold stars =). then he helped me move my stuff to my friends apartment from my other friends house because it was over paint fumed to sleep in. Five gold stars for that, he didn't have to. then we went to my friends apartment and talked till midnight.
 because he was such an awesomely amazing first date, I decided to earn five gold stars myself and walk out to the front porch to say good night. my keys, my phone, my wallet, my dog, my jacket, basically everything was left in the house, because I was just stepping out to give him a hug. I shut the door so my dog wouldn't escape. It not being my lock, i was unaware that it was in fact, locked. So I gave him a hug, and with a smile on my face because it was an awesome date, turned to walk back into the apartment. 
SNAP!!! panic set in. I called him back. He is an expert at lock picking, so he looked at the lock, we tried his card- well I did, and I couldn't card the door because of weather striping. it was too tight, i couldn't get the card in. couldn't call my friend or anyone, and my dog was panicking (he left a little panic present for me on the floor when I got back in.) well, being the brilliant man he is, my date said "no problem, two paper clips and I can get you in there". with that he went to his car, and searched. I went to my car and searched too. after a half hour, we found some paper clips and things that could work.
 He was able to pick the lock, and teach me how to pick a lock too. I got in, unlocked the door, and then went out and gave him a second hug and a thank you. Off to bed, great date.  so, to all the single men folk who read my blog, pick up some pointers from this, because that was a really great date.  thanks all. soon I will tell you about Shaw Island and the 13.  that's all for today though.

a quick hello, and back in a week

so I have spent the past month living at a friends house, internetless. so I will be writing a whole bunch in about a week maybe two, and i will catch you up on "The Thirteen" "homeless in kitsap, well, kinda"  "Why all the guys show up at once, and leave at once for dating" and "yes, Its worth it to be your friend" and many more to come. sending my love. I miss you my readers.  soon, i will no longer be homeless and will have pleanty to say. for now, thanks to my many friends for all your help, love and support.

The many reactions of the married to the single.

 So, Lately I have been thinking and observing a certain pattern around me, of how married people react to single people. This is not, as you would think, a reaction limited to people in the LDS church, but extends far beyond that, even to professed atheists.  What I am about to say is a generalization, it is my observation only. it is not about everyone and every circumstance. It may offend some of you, but is not intended to be such. if you have something to add please comment. I would love to have many perspectives available for better understanding of the general public.

My observation is as follows: Widows are given sympathy and pity ( not that everyone always wants to be pitied, and honestly yes that would suck, but you did at least get to experience some time being married, that ended most likely with both of you still loving each other to some degree or other, so as trying as that is, that is one positive the rest in this blog dont' get.) I have a few friends that are widows, i do not envy their circumstance, and yes it is validly trying for them, especially if they have kids, so this isn't meant to take away from that. Just sayin.

Next you have the Divorced. My divorced family and friends have all been though variations on Hell with that one, it is not a thing to be envied obviously. The general observed reaction to divorced people I have found to be one of two things, either Pity and sympathy, or out right harsh judgement. I think its a lot more complicated that that people.

So lastly, you have my category, getting up their in years, and still not married, and never been married. I have talked to many who experienced the same as me, and the parents of a 40 + year old yesterday who confirmed a similar experience. 

By close friends who are divorced or widowed, I sometimes may get a bit of sympathy in my plight, because they took the time to know me personally. From prophets and apostles I get council and sympathy, as they seem aware of the struggle for women of my generation finding good men to marry. From my formerly married friends sometimes you get the," well you don't know anything because you were never married" treatment, but for the most part they are cool. But my biggest problem, and this is what i talked about to those parents yesterday, is that people in my marital status- as in NEVER married  tend to get one thing, and only one thing from any one and everyone who doesn't take the time to know our hearts, and that is sharp judgment and criticism.

clearly it is all our fault. "why don't you focus on getting married instead of thinking of flying across the world on adventures like getting a masters degree" i once heard from a family friend. Constantly I am badgered with attempts to make me more "marriageable" to change who I am, to change my appearance, to criticize me for  having standards in the type of person I want to marry.  honestly if you knew my heart at all you would know that this is important to me, yes i do want self improvement, i want to be my best self, but that's just it, I AM ME!! and i want to stay me, and i want to marry someone who loves and respects me for me. you probably wanted the same, so why should I settle for less just because my biological clock is ticking down? I shouldn't, and the prophet agrees with me. at the last general conference we single people were counseled to find someone compatible and worthy and marry in the temple. that is all I am looking for, so I don't think you have a place to tell me my standards are too high when they were set by a prophet of God. Yes we are in a Peter Pan generation, and some do not want to grow up, and they need to, but they need to come to that on their own and through the council of the prophet, that is sufficient.

Parents, family friends etc, often you just deepen wounds with your lack of consideration for what may be in the depths of a single persons heart. Any single person deserves to be treated respectfully, sympathy, not pity, understanding, not judgement. If you need to correct us, do it in love and understanding, not blind judgement.  

I will tell everyone exactly what I am looking for in a spouse right now, if you are a single male and think you could meet those standards, go a head and give me a call, I went to my roommates temple marriage yesterday, and I think it is the most beautiful thing in the world and I would love nothing more than to have that for myself.  four  things 1) Worthy current temple recommend holder 2) Honorable priesthood holder 3) enjoys spending time with me and loves me 4) I enjoy spending time with and love them (aka compatible) this is what I am looking for in a husband, very simply and plainly laid out for everyone.

If you think that standard is to high, I say to you EIK TU SAU IR DINK IS CIA. its Lithuanian, look it up.  all I wish to accomplish by this blog is that the currently married, could be more careful in how they judge and talk to the currently single, and that everyone will be more aware that unless you know a persons heart and are looking through that lens, you will probably get them wrong and judge their circumstance unfairly. that's all I have to say on the matter.  thanks for your time.

My Great Olympic Road Trip: Day 2

Well, Its been tough to finish out writing about this road trip, because I am in the middle of moving, but I decided  its best to do it before I move. So here goes... 


After sleeping in my car all night, I woke up  in a stuffy crowded place and realized I really had to pee, but I couldn't find a way to get up because, well really my car could have been wider for sleeping purposes. Some how, I did get up finally, grab my shoes and flash light and stumble down the wilderness path to the restroom. When I got back, Toni kinda started to wake up. So I had a quick scripture study, then I went to the tent to change, and Toni went to the bathrooms to change.  Before she got back, I managed to mostly disassemble the tent. =) 

mand vs tent

So, tent down, packed, we jumped in the car and decided since it was 8 am to skip the rain forest, Skip church in Forks, and go for Sol Duc and church in Port Angeles.  So we headed to Sol Duc first, and got there at about 9 ish.  and went to the springs, well up until I saw what sort of posh commercialized prison that natural beauty was trapped in, so in a fit of rage I decided we'd just hike to the falls. (for full rant on why I feel it is wrong to take a natural thing like a spring, and make it into a resort type water park and fence it in, you will have to talk to me in person, because Toni got an hour ear full and I wont put her through that again). 

We hopped back in the car and drove to the trail head. It was actually a pretty cool hike, and I really enjoyed it, apart from my ranting.

It was a really gorgeous hike, and  I highly recommend it. We got out of there just in time to drive to church in Port Angeles and take a half hour nap in the car before hand. Now, as far as church, we just went to sacrament meeting, and it was full of really good talks. But I have to complain and only one lady smiled at us, and the Bishop shook our hand and said hi but that was all, didn't ask who we were, where we were from or anything. and worst of all two Elders were there, its there job to notice new people and say hi, and they looked at us, made eye contact, and didn't even bother to say hi. FAIL Port Angeles. I know its awkward people, but at least say hi and introduce yourself to visitors and make them feel welcome. the caliber of talks mostly made up for the cold reception.  

After church we headed down to the Dungeness Spit. we were going to do a relaxed sight seeing hike. we got down to the spit, Toni just took a rest while I walked about a half  to a quarter mile and then gave up. it was an interesting land form, but it was raining, I was tired, and sand is really hard to walk in. 

                                          The Dungeness Spit.  5.5 miles of sandy walking to a light house

Finally ( I think at this point we were done mentally and physically and ready to just be home) we visited two farms in the lavender festival. they were pretty. I didn't know so many forms of lavender existed 

                                           out of all the lavender in the fields, Provence smelled best to me

well, with that, we headed home. we spend one hour stuck in traffic in sequim, and then got home and unpacked and took the rest of my Sunday. that was my great trip. It was a lot for two days. I think if I did it again I would go slower and cover less, because there is so much more at all those places to see. go check it out sometime. 

  

My Great Olympic Road Trip : Day 1, Stop 5/6/7

Stop 5/6/7: Mora/ Rialto Beach/ La Push/ Forks, WA

Now we come to the most beautiful part of the journey, WOW and STUNNING come to my mind. We drove on down the 101, till we hit the 110 just out side of  Forks. Another half hour down the 110  and you arrive at either Mora or La Push depending on if you fork off the 110 at a certain restaurant spot.  We did not see this fork , as Toni was asleep and woke up just as we drove passed it, and I started talking to her and didn't see the sign. don't blink, or you will miss it.  So next thing you know I see signs for third beach , second beach, and finally a sign that we were entering the reservation and have to obey res ordinances. It was Quillayute days, so it was cool. we parked kinda where we could see first beach, and looked at the food stands and festivities. It looked awesome, I was starving and really wanted some smoked salmon, but  I was afraid if we didn't get over to Mora soon we wouldn't get a camp site. So we passed a dozen smoked salmon signs and  headed back to the fork about 10 minutes up the road, with a promise to soon return.  We got there, quickly found and paid for our camp site,  and set up the tent as a place holder so no one would try to steal it. 

 By this time, we were absolutely starving, and we noticed the restaurant at the fork. It also had a sign for smoked salmon, so we went to this very touristy spot. Only pictures can do it justice. 

Toni and Jacob Black

We risked vampire danger

not only was there a menu, there was a whole twilight section of the restaurant

No kidding, A whole park of Jacob Black themed cabins to rent

I straddled the treaty line

    

So, I got a veggie burger, and clam chowder, Toni got a regular burger, and tater tots. we shared the chowder and tots, and I have to say, despite this place looking like a massive tourist dive, THE FOOD WAS AMAZINGLY GOOD!!! so I recommend it. after we ate, we went to leave planning to go back to La Push, but it was raining like crazy, so we decided to go past camp Mora to Rilato Beach, 3 miles from our camp and very nearly at La Push any way. Only a small river separates the two. We were just going to check  out the beach, then go back and go to sleep because of the buckets of rain. Honestly I think it was God doing us a favor so we would check out something uniquely awesome. As soon as we got to the beach the rain quit. 

The scene was beautiful. The ocean was amazing, the fog that was on the beach just added to the majesty. There were many amazingly beautiful rocks there, very smooth and polished, but with great colors and flecks. I really wished my friend Julie Fahlsing was there to tell me what they were. I tried to take pictures, but she couldn't get enough information from the pictures to tell me more about them. I guess I will have to go back and collect some samples sometime. There were these amazing rock faces and islands out in the ocean, and the waves were huge!! there were massive trees lining the high tide area of the beach, we had to carefully crawl over them as they were quite slippery. It did smell quite bad. Later we found out that that was because of a dead seal on the beach. and for some reason there was a yellow foam washing up on the beach that we couldn't figure out what it was. I think this is also best told in photos.

Rilato Beach in the fog

Pretty Rocks =)

Dead Seal, partially decomposed

After that, we headed back over to La Push since it wasn't raining. We checked out first beach on closer inspection. It was stunningly beautiful.

First Beach, Quillayute res, La Push, WA

We listened to a comedian go on for about 6 minutes of toilet humor- literally,  and looked around for a bit, and headed off to Forks. All we did in Forks was look at the High School, and then we went to Thrift way (AKA Twilight central) and bought food for Sunday, a flash light, and for Toni some souvenirs. We headed back, Changed, threw our bags in the tent and set up my car to be slept in. It worked good, but could have been wider. And as well fell asleep to the constant booming of celebratory fireworks from La Push, rain fell gently on the roof of my car and I drifted off into some much needed sleep, closing out Day 1 of our Great Olympic Road trip.  Tune in next time for Day 2, Sol Duc rage and Lavender festival.

My Great Olympic Road Trip : Day 1, Stop 4

Continuing on our journey, Toni and I next began our venture into the the land of glittery vampires, Native American werewolves, and well, a lot of touristy traps... 

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Dazzled by Twilight store in Port Angeles, WA                                                               

Stop 4: Port Angeles

We left Port Townsend and followed our way through to Sequim passed many lavender farms, some of which we will talk about later. It had been crazy rain most the way, but as we approached Port Angeles the sun decided to momentarily come out and an interesting phenomena happened, the water began to evaporate off the streets at a very rapid pace creating a more steam than fog like mist rising off the streets. This very much hampered my visibility in driving, so that was kinda lame, but it looked extremely awesome. We failed to get a picture. Our first stop in Port Angeles is on the road to The Heart of the Mountain/ Hurricane ridge , but it is just the road there, we never went to Hurricane Ridge so still to this day I have yet to visit that wondrous place. Instead, we just stopped at the rangers station on the outskirts of town. It was a supper cool station, with like Jaw bones and rock type stuff to look at, free maps, and the MOST helpful ranger I have ever met in my life!!! they were awesome. the lady ranger at the service counter helped me and a few other travelers determine the best National Forest camp site to shoot for getting a camp spot at, It was not Sol Duc, it was Mora, which I had had as my intended destination since Sister Gibbons recommended it and said how beautiful it was. She was right. the ranger checked, no reports but due to rain, and lavender festival, and the fact that there are many camp sites there, she said it was a pretty safe bet. So we left the ranger station, and returned to Port Angeles for quick site seeing. The ranger even told us where we could find the twilight store.

 I learned on this trip, that Toni is odd, but I love her any way. Here is why she is odd, She hates Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Star Wars, Star Trek, and anything of the kind,  but  she really likes Twilight. That is the complete opposite of the vast majority of my friends, but I love Toni for her unique opinion. so, Still in a foggy mist, we headed back towards town,  to Dazzled by Twilight. Well, I just typed the address from the ranger into the GPS and followed the sound, but when we got there, and saw the store, I couldn't really see the street signs indicating it was a one way street, so I decided to turn left and pull into parking right by the store, but as i turned i noticed there were a lot of cars heading towards me, and no lane for me to be in, quickly i pulled to the parking spot, flipped an u turn, and course corrected. Toni and I were a bit shaken, me more than Toni, as usually I am a fairly good driver and things like that don't happen, but we just found our parking spot and  because I was shaken it was quite a ways away, so we started walking and saw this cool scene 

The steamy fog that caused my poor visibility, but made for beautiful scenery

After that, we went to the crazy twilight store, full of sparkles and it was fun enough, and then we got in the car and started driving to La Push.  We drove past one of my favorite spots on the planet, and just took pictures but didn't stop. Lake Crescent, between Port Angeles and Sol Duc on the 101.  It is always the most beautiful blue-green water, and so placid. Today it was more dark blue, but parts of it were the pretty green. It was over cast. 

If I could I would live out here. I love this place!!!

End part 2.. trip to continue.