Prep for camping like a,mad mand

Last night, one of my friends had the rare privillage to go shopping in preperation for a camping trip. I have no idea what she thought of the experience, but here is what I would have thought if I were her.

My shopping style consists not of lists or any normal way of knowing what i need, but of knowing which sections of wal-mart I need to get stuff from and then wondering down the isles asking "Do I need this?" It takes about an hour to two hours.

I started out in cosmetics. I bought a lot of cosmetics, considering this is a camping trip. Am I camping, or glamping? You may wonder.  I am going for somewhere in between obviously, because its a singles campout, and im going it alone, and im hoping to meet friends not drive them away.

Next we moved on to outdoors. I needed propane tanks. No fires at all this year, so i borrowed a camp stove, and it needs propane. As i wondered down the camping isle, i added a first aid kit. Im gonna be a back up boat captain on the rafting trip, heaven help us all. (but dont tell my boat that). We looked at other things. Should i get more sunscreen? No. What about a snake bite kit? That one I had to think about. Two years ago on this same trip me and my friend happened upon a snake in the road, we got close because i thought it was a stick, then i screemed and we ran away. But, I dont want to think about that. No, no snake bite kit.  I considered water proof bags, for the rafting trip. I forgot to get a squirt gun.

We moved on to electronics, where i realized i had no idea what toner cartridge my printer needs. I will be returning for that and the squirt gun tonight. Never raft unarmed, ive seen The River Wild.

Next we headed to food. Here the real conundrums set in. No fire. Id normally get a lot of things that only taste good on a fire, when you are camping, but no fire. I got marshmellows and fudgestripe cookies any way. From this point out, ever five minutes I'd ask? Do I want hotdogs? Then I'd say, "No, no fire."

My friend began to question my sanity. "I think you want hot dogs" she said  "yeah, but no fire" I said. "I wont eat them, no fire" we wondered through food, I picked up tinfoil, beef jerky. I thought about more cookies and candy, then I felt unhealthy, so i grabbed potatoes and mushrooms and peppers to go with all my meat, cheese and chips.

Im gonna need a good knife. Why do i want to do potatoes? Im gonna need half my kitchen to cook all this.

With everything Im bringing its a good thing im driving up alone and have my tent to myself for storage space. I'll make friends to help me eat all this, Who am I kidding, Im bringing a cot. I am glamping!!!! I guess when you reach 30, you become a wimp, and decided you are done roughing it. Well, at least Im back up boat captain, I havent lost my sense of adventure entirely.