Dear Ellen, Thank You

Dear Ellen,

I wanted to write you a blog post this weekend, and thank you for the Puppy Episode, 20 years ago. I know it's extremely unlikely that you will ever read this post, but I've delayed until the last minute writing it this weekend because I felt you deserved perfection in my words.

At some point this evening, I gave up on perfection, because I figured it was better to write something imperfect than to never write anything expressing my gratitude at all.

Since your sitcom about Ellen Morgan ran 3 seasons, I'm guessing I was about 12 when my mom and I started watching the show. I loved the show. I loved the time I spent watching it with my mom. And I loved Ellen Morgan. I related to her a lot, and I loved her fashon  sense.  By the way, Ellen Degeneres, I love your fashon sense even more. You are my style icon, or whatever. I love it!

Any way, I don't know what night the show was on, and I'm not going to look it up, because it would ruin my memory of it. And my memory of it, says it was on Thursday nights. Memory is very unreliable, even if you have a good one, so I'm not placing any bets on that being correct.

But Friday, friday was 20 years since the episode where your character came out. I was 15. I have never forgot that night, because  it made me feel so many things, excited, happy, outed a bit myself because I related so much to the character, and mostly just very secretly glad it happened.

As a young devout Mormon teenager, I don't know what would have happened if me and my mom would have been able to have a conversation about the show that night, or even if it hadn't been the last time we watched it together. That was a sad moment to me, because until I was 30 that was the last episode I saw.  Having now seen the other episodes, I think those could have been helpful for me and my mom to watch together, helpful for our future.

I had many confusing years ahead. Maybe now Kristen Stewart can say it's not confusing if your bisexual, but I found it confusing for a very long time. But there were a lot of complicated reasons for that.

Any way, in my early 30s, going to counseling and finally coming out, I went back and watched The Puppy Episode, and all the episodes after it, and it was a big deal for me. It was a gift I had waited 15 years  finally recieve. It meant the world to have a character I related to on some level as a 15 year old, and it meant even more to me, and I related even more as a 30 year old.

I love your daytime show, I love dory, I love your books, but I will always be most greatful for The Puppy episode, and all the episodes that followed it.

Thanks again for all the crap you went through to bring it to the world, and happy 20th anniversary of the episode.

Your random blog writing fan,
Mandi