Three days till the games begin. Today was a weird day. Well, I don't know, its been a weird year. I stayed home sick today because my stomach has been bothering me for the past week, and I was not feeling so great this morning. At 10:30 I decided to leave and get my dog out of the house because my landlord was coming over with an appraiser and a crazy Jack Russell doesn't always mix well with strangers.
So, I took Nick over to a friends house who has a fully fenced yard and I supervised him while he ran in the rain. He hopped along like a cute little bunny but super fast, and I had a good chat with my friend. Sometimes, being 30 and single really just sucks. Right now , almost all my friends are getting married, and I am getting left behind again for the umpteenth time in my life. I never thought it would be harder to go through that old familiar cycle, but this time I felt like I really had a family, and the ones that aren't married are either going away to school or talking of moving, so Its like graduating from high school all over again and I feel like I am in an alternate version of Ground Hogs day or something. Any way, my friend and I talked about how its just harder to do this when you are in your 30's.
We talked about dating options, and well, there are guys I could date and just have fun with but I already know enough about them to know they aren't what I am looking for and all it would be is a fun distraction. And though a fun distraction would be nice, Something about hitting thirty just made it all seem so much more serious and something not just to play games with. Fun is a good thing, but I am not looking for a life of endless fun, I want more than that.
Any way, my friends have been watching the youtube video called "Eat Randy" by Julian Smith. Its a hilarious 80's sounding song. Lately my name has been getting substituted in, because my friend says my name just like they say Randy in the song. I threatened to go by a different name tonight because constant threats of cannibalism are starting to get to me, serious or no.
My friends decided instead to change the lyrics and write a parody. Its not done yet, but they changed it to "Date Mandi" I like this. can't wait to see what comes of it. This blog is about honesty, so I'll be honest, I'm kind of tired of being a lone, and I am starting to feel lonely. I believe I have an opportunity to date someone and not be alone, but I already know that person, and I don't think he is right for me, and I know if I dated him I would feel like I was settling for less than I deserve, and I would still feel lonely.
So I will continue on my path of preparation and patience.I know there are guys out there that work for me, so far the timing has just been off. So I will wait for the right time. I just hope I don't have to wait too long. In the mean time, I have a couple more days till I can console myself with Men's Gymnastics, Swimming, and Track and field. Tomorrow morning, I will try to tell you about my time volunteering with the 2002 Olympics. Tonight I wasn't in the mood, and I needed to talk about being single again. Sorry if this sounds whiny. I don't want pity, or lectures or anything, I just want to help with singles awareness.
Single people contribute a great deal to society, and are far less selfish and fun centered I think than we are often painted. It comes down to the "self marketing" that I talked about a year ago. We have to be very social and sacrifice sleep or we would never have a chance of meeting anyone. But often I feel like I am not treated as a fully grown up adult, or contributing member of society because I'm not married, I don't have kids, and I don't know what that feels like. And that is a major reason of why I share a lot of what I do in this blog I guess, because I want people to understand that single people aren't always single because they are too picky, and too self centered and don't want to grow up. We mostly do, but we also don't want to settle for less than what we deserve, and I don't think that we should. And what we deserve is to find someone we are compatible with and want to spend eternity with, not just someone to fill an empty spot.
Honestly, I don't know how Sheri Dew and Barbara Thompson do it, how they have lasted so long at staying true to their values with the weight of being alone. It puts a lot of pressure on you to think that a "vacation" from your moral standards would fill that void. But I think maybe they are wise, and just know running out after temporary things can never fill that hole. I hope I don't have to wait so long, but if I do, I hope I have their moral fiber, courage, and resolve. I am glad that they served in the General Relief Society presidencies, and I am so grateful for their examples, and for their talks on womanhood, motherhood, and the importance of eternal families. I think, for me, their words meant more, because they know how to be great and keep being great, even when life doesn't go according to plan. Good night all, and good luck.
So, I took Nick over to a friends house who has a fully fenced yard and I supervised him while he ran in the rain. He hopped along like a cute little bunny but super fast, and I had a good chat with my friend. Sometimes, being 30 and single really just sucks. Right now , almost all my friends are getting married, and I am getting left behind again for the umpteenth time in my life. I never thought it would be harder to go through that old familiar cycle, but this time I felt like I really had a family, and the ones that aren't married are either going away to school or talking of moving, so Its like graduating from high school all over again and I feel like I am in an alternate version of Ground Hogs day or something. Any way, my friend and I talked about how its just harder to do this when you are in your 30's.
We talked about dating options, and well, there are guys I could date and just have fun with but I already know enough about them to know they aren't what I am looking for and all it would be is a fun distraction. And though a fun distraction would be nice, Something about hitting thirty just made it all seem so much more serious and something not just to play games with. Fun is a good thing, but I am not looking for a life of endless fun, I want more than that.
Any way, my friends have been watching the youtube video called "Eat Randy" by Julian Smith. Its a hilarious 80's sounding song. Lately my name has been getting substituted in, because my friend says my name just like they say Randy in the song. I threatened to go by a different name tonight because constant threats of cannibalism are starting to get to me, serious or no.
My friends decided instead to change the lyrics and write a parody. Its not done yet, but they changed it to "Date Mandi" I like this. can't wait to see what comes of it. This blog is about honesty, so I'll be honest, I'm kind of tired of being a lone, and I am starting to feel lonely. I believe I have an opportunity to date someone and not be alone, but I already know that person, and I don't think he is right for me, and I know if I dated him I would feel like I was settling for less than I deserve, and I would still feel lonely.
So I will continue on my path of preparation and patience.I know there are guys out there that work for me, so far the timing has just been off. So I will wait for the right time. I just hope I don't have to wait too long. In the mean time, I have a couple more days till I can console myself with Men's Gymnastics, Swimming, and Track and field. Tomorrow morning, I will try to tell you about my time volunteering with the 2002 Olympics. Tonight I wasn't in the mood, and I needed to talk about being single again. Sorry if this sounds whiny. I don't want pity, or lectures or anything, I just want to help with singles awareness.
Single people contribute a great deal to society, and are far less selfish and fun centered I think than we are often painted. It comes down to the "self marketing" that I talked about a year ago. We have to be very social and sacrifice sleep or we would never have a chance of meeting anyone. But often I feel like I am not treated as a fully grown up adult, or contributing member of society because I'm not married, I don't have kids, and I don't know what that feels like. And that is a major reason of why I share a lot of what I do in this blog I guess, because I want people to understand that single people aren't always single because they are too picky, and too self centered and don't want to grow up. We mostly do, but we also don't want to settle for less than what we deserve, and I don't think that we should. And what we deserve is to find someone we are compatible with and want to spend eternity with, not just someone to fill an empty spot.
Honestly, I don't know how Sheri Dew and Barbara Thompson do it, how they have lasted so long at staying true to their values with the weight of being alone. It puts a lot of pressure on you to think that a "vacation" from your moral standards would fill that void. But I think maybe they are wise, and just know running out after temporary things can never fill that hole. I hope I don't have to wait so long, but if I do, I hope I have their moral fiber, courage, and resolve. I am glad that they served in the General Relief Society presidencies, and I am so grateful for their examples, and for their talks on womanhood, motherhood, and the importance of eternal families. I think, for me, their words meant more, because they know how to be great and keep being great, even when life doesn't go according to plan. Good night all, and good luck.
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