The Have To...

I remember one of my favorite movies growing up was "Rookie of the Year." I memorized that thing front and back, I just loved it.  One of my favorite scenes the kid was up to pitch for the first time, and he was so scared he couldn't throw the ball where he was supposed to. The old veteran pitcher walked to the mound to give him a talk, and told him  "you  gotta go to your have to. "  a confused dialog continued as the kid and I both tried to figure out what the "have to" was that he needed to go to. Finally the old guy just tells him its the place where his fear lived and basically that he needed to face it.

 Today, I think I finally understand the "have to."  The have to , is when you are so freaking scared of something that you have only two choices, facing it or absolute misery. Its been a "have to" kind of week.
There are lots of things I have to do- I have to go on a long commute to get to work every day. Sometimes people ask me how I can do this- well, I have to. I have to get up, because I have to pay my bills or be homeless, I don't want to be homeless. I have to go because I am too lazy or scared to find another job closer to home ( a fact that is quickly changing mind you). I have to because I like living in Kitsap county, I don't want to move to the Seattle side. I have made my choices, unless I change one of those variables, i have to get up and commute to work.

It is the same, I think , with moral standards. God doesn't make us do anything, neither does anyone else. Why do I keep the word of wisdom (no alcohol, coffee, tea etc)? why do I keep the law of chastity (no sex before or outside of marriage to put it in layman's terms) ? Why do I pay my tithing? etc etc. Quite simply because I have to. I have to keep those rules/commandments, whatever you want to call them because A) I promised God I would, and B) I wont be happy if I don't keep them, and my ultimate objective in life is to make me as happy as I possibly can.

I am happy when I am unselfish and serve others, I am happy when I live my religion, I am happy when I finally deal with my problems instead of running away from them.   "Courage is not the absence of fear, but the knowledge that something is of greater importance than the fear" is one of my favorite quotes from the Princess Diaries.   It is true, what makes us brave, what makes people put fear behind them and choose something else is that they come to that point where something is more important than being afraid, they come to the Have To, that place where fear lives until we have to vanquish it, and then it is dead and faith abounds.  I have to be the best me I can, and that scares me, and sometimes I will fail, but just as Eminem said, (edited version) "Success is my only .... option Failure's not"       Are you afraid? Go to your Have To, and then fight on.