Singled Out- Attention: Big Elephant in the Room

Something happened earlier this week that I just have to blog about, first because it involves me being single, and second because it applies to everyone.
  So Tuesday on my way from counseling, I noticed I had a voice mail. I listened. It was from the Relief  Society Presidency second councilor reminding me that there was an activity that night, and that there would be free food.  I had no idea what the activity would be, nor did I care- SHE SAID FREE FOOD!!!   My old college instincts kicked in and nothing else mattered. I went and got to sit by one of my new ward buddies the whole time. 
  It was a blast talking to all the sisters and socializing. I love Relief Society meetings. Then it was time for our  lesson/activity part. The lesson was on Continuing Courtship After Marriage.  Part of what I have been going to counseling for is working on my current issues with courtship and relationships in general, so even though I am not married I thought "oh great, I can so apply this to the future when I am less of a hot mess and  am dating/marrying/ continuing to court my future super hot and talented husband" (which I drew a picture of for my friend during the lesson)
  However, as the lesson began things got slightly awkward. I do not fault the lesson giver for this, I am a firm believer that awkwardness makes us stronger and more comfortable with the truth of who we are- eventually.  I confirmed this theory as a missionary, and then a return missionary, because its pretty hard to make me feel awkward after 19 months of telling complete strangers in a language I slaughtered frequently that I wanted to tell them about a really important book and a 14 yr old boy that saw God.  Any way, back to the RS activity. 
  What made this most awkward was that to start the lesson she had each sister introduce herself and her respective marital status. We had two older sisters that were divorced and there for currently single, and everyone else is married. It was a little awkward, but I know I am old and single in a family ward, so that was fine for me.  I felt slightly awkward to be the only one never married and without kids, but again, I am used to this fact now and fine with it. 
  But then the sister teaching the lesson added to awkwardness by pointing to the big 2 ton elephant in the room and said she wanted to know why we single people would choose to come to an activity about courtship after marriage. Valid question. Probably best asked after the lesson so that people don't suddenly feel like maybe they should leave, but again, we all get these situations we feel awkward and completely botch, I've done it, and I don't take it personally when others do too.  
  Here is where the big problem came in for me, she tried to adapt her lesson for married people to try to suit  the three single sisters in the room. That is good, to make small adaptions, but the fact single people were present seemed to completely disrupt her flow and consume the rest of the lesson.  
  I appreciate the effort, but sometimes its best if you just get on mostly as planned and let the spirit tell people how to adapt things for themselves. After the meeting I went to a friends house to watch Downton Abbey. We had a good talk about those awkward elephant in the room moments, and it made me realize, EVERYONE HAS THEM. 
  Maybe you are divorced, maybe you are a stay home mom, maybe you are a working mom, maybe you are single, maybe you are a widow, maybe you are a single mom, maybe you are a return missionary, maybe you are not a return missionary, maybe you are a convert, maybe you are not a convert, maybe you love your husband and everyone is bashing theirs, maybe you bash your husband and everyone else loves theirs, maybe you can't have kids.... the list goes on and on. 
 Point is, we all have individual circumstances and adaptations. We will all feel awkward and alienated at some point in life, in church, in Relief Society. And we will all teach a lesson, make a comment, or give a talk or testimony that makes someone feel uncomfortable. But in the end, it doesn't matter, we are all sisters, we are all daughters of a Heavenly Father that loves us, and as long as we love each other we can take those moments to laugh at the elephant, and then build some bridges of understanding. That's what its all about. 
 I didn't answer her question, so I will now. I came for the food, but if I had remembered what the activity was going to be, I still would have come. The reason I decided to move to a family ward early, rather than going to the YSA ward for the remainder of my 30th year was that I want to learn about marriage and families from people who are experiencing it. 
  How else can I continue to prepare for a marriage I hope one day will come?  How else can I learn to understand most of the women my age who deal daily with children and husbands and that sort of thing that I really don't know much about? I can't. I have to have awkward moments because I have hit that time of life when that is what is around me, and I have to adapt to a new environment. 
  I hope the sisters of the RS wont be upset, offended, or wish they could have my "fun and adventurous" single life when I talk about my experiences, and I hope they wont hesitate to share their experiences.  How else will you ever understand what the single people of the world experience if I don't say?  how will I ever know what you married people go through if you don't say?  we wont, we can't.  Embrace that elephant, learn to love it, and love to learn.