Well, Nothing reminds you more of singles status than going to lunch as friends with an ex -boyfriend and talking about the struggles of being single the whole time. Strangely, that wasn't awkward. We are both good friends, and it was a nice relaxing afternoon in moderate social awkwardness, and I wouldn't have wanted to spend the day any other way. Although, to clarify, for those getting your hopes up- there is a reason it didn't work, and I think its best I let you know we are just keeping it at the friend level.
I followed that lovely lunch up with Stake conference. I had a momentary attitude issue where I didn't want to go, because I had a feeling they were just going to talk about how to make your marriages better. It turns out I was pretty spot on - for most the meeting. Luckily my old home teacher Alex, and his wife sat next to me with tons of yarn that I got to help ball up for future knitting projects. The talks were actually really cool, though I have no where to apply them right now, I got a few good laughs in because the speakers were very hilarious.
Next the Mission President talked to us, I guess it was about Christ like love, tolerance, and not judging people. He used the example of a man he knew that had tatoos, smoked, was pretty rough looking and stinky, who investigated the church, joined, and completely changed his life around. It was a good intro for the stake presidents message, a message that we as members sometimes need to be a little more Christ like and a lot less judgemental.
As President Gilespie got up, and the first thing he did was tell us that God loves us. Then he asked us to imagine the feelings they had talked about earlier, for spouses. I had a really hard time imagining that one, so I went with the ex boyfriend (not from this afternoon, a different one) that totally broke my heart last year. Well, I dont think that was the feeling he was going for, so I thought back to before everything went wrong and he moved to reno, back when I really enjoyed thinking about spending time with him. Ok president, you've got my attention. Then he asked us to imagine what it would be like if we never felt those feelings for someone of the oposite sex, but that we felt them for someone of the same sex. He then talked about love, compasion, and introduced us to the website www.mormonsandgays.org. I believe I tryed to introduce you all to this site right when it came out. Did you check it out yet? well if you haven't you should. We spent the rest of the meeting watching some videos from the site. Please go watch them.
What I want to talk about now, is this. I have a lot of friends that I know personally that are or were members of the church that struggle with this issue. I love them a lot. I have seen how this impacts them, their families, etc. I have had some deep conversations with some of my friends about this subject. I know in particular, there is one sister I taught on my mission who is currently done with the church. As we talked about the gospel and the struggle and feelings she had about it, there was one question she asked me that has never left my mind. She said "Where is the love? for someone like me, where is the love?"
I wish she could have been there tonight, because the love is there, and its growing as understanding grows. Because of the impact these experiences have had on people that me a lot to me in my life, as well as the fact that my therapist is Josh Weed, (he is the Gay married(to a woman) Mormon guy you may have seen on Ricky Lake or have read his blog post, if not check it out, hes an amazing man http://www.joshweed.com/2012/06/club-unicorn-in-which-i-come-out-of.html ) and as my friend Amy said this blog has good advice for anyones marriages and relationships, even if they aren't gay and married to a woman.
Any way, because of all this, about six months ago, I decided to become a member of North Star Leadership council, because my friends, I want you to know you are loved, and I want you to know you can choose to live the gospel, even if you are struggling with same gender attraction vs your testimony and what to do about it.
North Star www.northstarlds.org is an organization that provides support, stories of hope and help for those who struggle with same gender attraction, gender identity issues, or are family members or friends of those who struggle, and want to live the gospel and gospel standards. Its a really cool organization, and its great to check out even if you just want to gain more sympathy and understanding for others. Another really cool thing that North Star has put together, and is working on another edition of is a book called Voices of Hope.
Considering my members of my stake were just encouraged to gain some empathy and compassion in this area I have decided to share this information with you to facilitate your compassion and learning experience.
For my friends who are struggling, and are asking "Where is the love for someone like me?" its here, it exists, God has not forgotten you , and you are still more than welcome in his church. His standards haven't and wont change in regards to the law of chastity, but He loves you always, and no matter what. If you want to choose to live the way, he will provide a way for you to do that, he is totally able to. It wont always be easy, and sometimes people wont make you feel loved, but he will always find a way to let you know you are loved, and he loves you, but you have to be willing to hear when he says it.
You can find my bio and profile here http://northstarlds.org/about-us/who-we-are/ on the northstar leadership council ,if you want to see my beautiful pic and read more about why I joined. I hope that this can be a step forward for all of us for all members of the church feeling loved and a part of the family. Sometimes I feel singled out, but ultimately, I always find a family in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day saints, and I know you can too no matter what you struggle with, no matter what makes you feel different from everyone else, because Its Christs church, and he loves and understands each of us, personally and individually.
This has been more of an Same Gender Attraction Awareness, than a Singles Awareness post, but I think it fits just as much with the theme for the month. We all need to feel loved, Gay, Straight, Married, Single, Addict, Child of God, whomever, and whatever you are.
I followed that lovely lunch up with Stake conference. I had a momentary attitude issue where I didn't want to go, because I had a feeling they were just going to talk about how to make your marriages better. It turns out I was pretty spot on - for most the meeting. Luckily my old home teacher Alex, and his wife sat next to me with tons of yarn that I got to help ball up for future knitting projects. The talks were actually really cool, though I have no where to apply them right now, I got a few good laughs in because the speakers were very hilarious.
Next the Mission President talked to us, I guess it was about Christ like love, tolerance, and not judging people. He used the example of a man he knew that had tatoos, smoked, was pretty rough looking and stinky, who investigated the church, joined, and completely changed his life around. It was a good intro for the stake presidents message, a message that we as members sometimes need to be a little more Christ like and a lot less judgemental.
As President Gilespie got up, and the first thing he did was tell us that God loves us. Then he asked us to imagine the feelings they had talked about earlier, for spouses. I had a really hard time imagining that one, so I went with the ex boyfriend (not from this afternoon, a different one) that totally broke my heart last year. Well, I dont think that was the feeling he was going for, so I thought back to before everything went wrong and he moved to reno, back when I really enjoyed thinking about spending time with him. Ok president, you've got my attention. Then he asked us to imagine what it would be like if we never felt those feelings for someone of the oposite sex, but that we felt them for someone of the same sex. He then talked about love, compasion, and introduced us to the website www.mormonsandgays.org. I believe I tryed to introduce you all to this site right when it came out. Did you check it out yet? well if you haven't you should. We spent the rest of the meeting watching some videos from the site. Please go watch them.
What I want to talk about now, is this. I have a lot of friends that I know personally that are or were members of the church that struggle with this issue. I love them a lot. I have seen how this impacts them, their families, etc. I have had some deep conversations with some of my friends about this subject. I know in particular, there is one sister I taught on my mission who is currently done with the church. As we talked about the gospel and the struggle and feelings she had about it, there was one question she asked me that has never left my mind. She said "Where is the love? for someone like me, where is the love?"
I wish she could have been there tonight, because the love is there, and its growing as understanding grows. Because of the impact these experiences have had on people that me a lot to me in my life, as well as the fact that my therapist is Josh Weed, (he is the Gay married(to a woman) Mormon guy you may have seen on Ricky Lake or have read his blog post, if not check it out, hes an amazing man http://www.joshweed.com/2012/06/club-unicorn-in-which-i-come-out-of.html ) and as my friend Amy said this blog has good advice for anyones marriages and relationships, even if they aren't gay and married to a woman.
Any way, because of all this, about six months ago, I decided to become a member of North Star Leadership council, because my friends, I want you to know you are loved, and I want you to know you can choose to live the gospel, even if you are struggling with same gender attraction vs your testimony and what to do about it.
North Star www.northstarlds.org is an organization that provides support, stories of hope and help for those who struggle with same gender attraction, gender identity issues, or are family members or friends of those who struggle, and want to live the gospel and gospel standards. Its a really cool organization, and its great to check out even if you just want to gain more sympathy and understanding for others. Another really cool thing that North Star has put together, and is working on another edition of is a book called Voices of Hope.
Considering my members of my stake were just encouraged to gain some empathy and compassion in this area I have decided to share this information with you to facilitate your compassion and learning experience.
For my friends who are struggling, and are asking "Where is the love for someone like me?" its here, it exists, God has not forgotten you , and you are still more than welcome in his church. His standards haven't and wont change in regards to the law of chastity, but He loves you always, and no matter what. If you want to choose to live the way, he will provide a way for you to do that, he is totally able to. It wont always be easy, and sometimes people wont make you feel loved, but he will always find a way to let you know you are loved, and he loves you, but you have to be willing to hear when he says it.
You can find my bio and profile here http://northstarlds.org/about-us/who-we-are/ on the northstar leadership council ,if you want to see my beautiful pic and read more about why I joined. I hope that this can be a step forward for all of us for all members of the church feeling loved and a part of the family. Sometimes I feel singled out, but ultimately, I always find a family in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day saints, and I know you can too no matter what you struggle with, no matter what makes you feel different from everyone else, because Its Christs church, and he loves and understands each of us, personally and individually.
This has been more of an Same Gender Attraction Awareness, than a Singles Awareness post, but I think it fits just as much with the theme for the month. We all need to feel loved, Gay, Straight, Married, Single, Addict, Child of God, whomever, and whatever you are.
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