How to Celebrate a Holiday Alone, and Other Lessons In Self Care'

 I have a friend that I can tell is starting to get burned out. Its been a slow burn, but sometimes those are the worst kind, because you don't see them sneaking up on you. I have had a few big callings in my life, and one thing I learned from them is that you can't take care of anyone else, and you can't magnify your callings if you don't take care of yourself and keep things in balance. 

 I think the first time I really learned this lesson was on my mission. About half way through there was a big enough clump of us that had focused so hard on serving with all of our might, mind, and strength, that we were just so tired and burned out we couldn't care as much as we needed or wanted to any more. It was at this point our AP (Assistant to the Mission President), Elder Walker talked to us about "filling (our) buckets" 

 Filling your bucket was making sure that you had taken a little bit of time for yourself. This may mean (as a missionary) doing a scripture study focused on your needs and not your investigators, or taking time on Preparation Day (a half a day that LDS missionaries get to do laundry, buy groceries, write letter, and sometimes have a bit of fun.)  to go bowling, or see an old castle in the city, or have a water balloon fight. OK, I am not exactly sure if the last one is allowable in the hand book, but if it is, its a way to fill your bucket. Basically take some time, have some fun, enjoy life and relax. 

 When I was the Relief Society presidency, I learned again how important that is. Unfortunately, I learned it a little late. I let my calling consume my life. I don't know that that served me or the sisters very well. First of all, It got me to caught up in drama, so tunnel visioned that I needed a reality check. It also made me mentally, spiritually, and emotionally exhausted. Every night was spent at the church, it seemed. Planning activities, carrying out activities, being everyone's friend. Good things, but too much. By the end I finally learned to step back, and balance a little better. 

 Now I am Primary Secretary. I started this calling out with three callings. I think the Lord wanted to ensure that I would know I had to have balance. I've done well, I think. I work on things, I work hard on them. I know when its time to work on something else, and I know that I have to take a little bit of time to have fun. If I don't, I would grow to hate the calling, be ornery and unable to think, and I would be of no use to anyone.  I've caught myself once or twice getting out of balance, and I have worked quickly to correct that. 

 I hope that my friend learns that lesson before its too late.  On airplanes, they always tell you to put your oxygen mask on first, then help a child or someone else, because you can't help them if you pass out. I think that is very true in life, and often we as Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints forget that, because we are trying to "Magnify our callings" or "forget ourselves and go to work."  That is important to do sometimes, but we have to also remember that we are human, there are limits to our abilities, and that "Men are that they might have joy."    

 If you are like me, the kind of person who works first and plays later, know this- There will always be more work. Prioritize fun. Not all the time, but if you are working hard, and your brain is tired, you need a break. Schedule some fun.  My roommates used to laugh at me because I scheduled free time, but if I hadn't done that, I probably wouldn't have allowed myself to take it. I don't have to schedule it now, because I've learned to recognize when my bucket is being depleted and I need to go fill it up. 

 You can't fill anyone else's bucket, if yours is empty- testimony,  physical or mental energy, love, all that good stuff. Can't love others till you love yourself, can't build someone else's testimony if yours has been left till its depleted, and you can't help others have joy if you are having none yourself. 

 This leaves me to my last point. Today is Easter. I have been dreading it. All I could think about leading up to this is all the fun things my family are doing without me. All the other people having fun with their children, and traditions, and chocolate. All I could think about was how I get to spend it alone, and its no fun to do your own Easter egg hunt.  I don't have a lot of money right now, so in a lot of ways I gave up, until I got thinking about my friend burning herself out.  And I thought to myself, Self, you are worth it, cook you an Easter feast, use the good china, and dye an egg and decorate it.  

 Once I realized that I was worth the effort, that I didn't need to have someone else around to make it worth my time, then I actually enjoyed this Easter. I'm writing this on my back deck in the sunshine. I BBQ'ed on my grill- just for me. I made potato salad, just for me. I even made me some jello with pineapple and bananas in it- just for me. I would love to share this all with someone, but if you don't have anyone to share the day with, share it with someone very special- YOU. You are special. You are worth it. You don't have to wait for a special guest to use the good china- YOU ARE A SPECIAL GUEST, even in your own home.  And you don't have to spend a lot of money to make it special, heck, I didn't spend any money at all, I used what I had around the house.  

 You are important enough, that you ought to take care of you. Find out what you need, and then take care of it. Then when your bucket is feeling a little fuller, go share it with someone else. If anyone wants some jello, come on over. If no one comes, I'm bringing it to work. And, tomorrow, I'll work better, because I took today to rest, and to refill my buckets.