If People Came With Instructions

I once thought I was an incredibly easy to read person, whos heart was proudly displayed on her sleeve.

In the past year, I've come to realize that may not so much be the case. I do have some friends who are very talented at spotting my moods. I think this is probably due to them being similarly inclined in their range of moods as me, and because they are observant and care.

Some days, I think Im really obviously irratable. Those are the days I have people say to me "oh, i couldnt tell, you seemed perfectly cheery to me."

Well people, it may be time we learned that people cannot read our minds and a little communication helps a lot.

Like say for instance, if instead of going silent and isolating myselg, and hunkering down waiting for someone to intrude my solitude and incure my wrath, maybe I could just tell people, hey, im having a difficult day, i really need to focus and not be disturbed, could you email or message me rather than coming up and interupting me?

Thats one thought.
Any way, this post is going to be about me. So heres some instructions for you.

1. If Im singing, im probably in a decent mood. Unless all the songs are depressing, I may be sad, but if im singing about it, Im approachable...unless...

2. If I start singing in my car, talking and listening is done. Sing along, and we can talk after this song.

3.If I feel there is some unresolved issue between us, i will want to talk about it until its fixed. If you cut me off from resolving it, with out at least a little talking, or a time frame of when we can talk, all I am going to do is think about what I want to talk about with you until we can have that conversation. It will drive me insane.

4.I dont like big dramatic exits and entrances into and out of my life. I also don't like to make big dramatic entrances and exits from others lifes. Any leaving on a bad note will reference right back to number 3. I hate conflict and drama, and when I feel things are unresolvable, I get dramatic and I hate that.

5. If I ever say I need space, give me three days to a week by myself, and then a graduated reentry to your life.

6. If you say you need space, and its going to be more than a week or two, you need to provide specific instructions of what you expect-
  A) if we meet up by accident
   Are we being civil? Or pretending the other doesnt exist?

B)if there is a social gathering we both will likely attend, same question.

C) do you plan with time that this should eventually be resolved and we will be ok, or is this to be a contenuous thing? If this is for the long hall, and you really dont want me to keep trying to fix it, I recomend that you gradually fade out, or be very clear and direct about the fact we are now mortal enemies.

I can read social cues, and play the guess in the moment game, but most likely the thought of running into you and not knowing what will be expected of me will cause me so much anxiety that im going to be a big grouch to you and everyone for the entire event and then some.

7. If you tell me that you will reply to me by a certain date, or that we should plan to do something on a certain date, and that time aproaches, and passes without me hearing a word from you, i will probably freak out on you, because dispite my best efforts to think positive, I jumped to the worst possible conclusion.
Just tell me it will be delayed and an approximate new date and I will be fine and not do this.
If you just forgot, and you get a feeaked out response from me like  what happened? Are you ok? Why havent I heard from you?
Go ahead and just say you forgot, but reasure me (if it really is true) that you want to do it, and set another time. If you jake me twice, i will probably take it personally, so if you need to change again let me know as soon as possible.    

On these same lines, on behalf of a friend that mentioned this, if you miss someones wedding because you forgot, unlesz you are close friends and were expected, dont mention it, they didnt notice you werent there any way and you just made it worse. If you are a close friend, youd better have a valid excuse, a present, and be preparred to show you are truely sad, and then, move on. Dont dwell on it.

8. If you are my friend, and I missed your wedding reception because some men in kilts were throwing big polls, i keep bringing it up because i really am sorry, and feel very bad about my poor time management skills. I will do my best to not bring it up again.

9. I like to get really awkward things over with as quickly as possible. If you like to drag them out, im going to make it twenty times more awkward for you, because its going to build in my head while you stall.
  
10. If you forgot my name, ask me. I probably forgot yours too, and will welcome the chance to find out again. I didnt forget your face
, or the personal details you told me, just your name. Im horrible at names.

11. If you want to know something about me ask. I have a whole lot of awkward in my life I like to talk about and share, but dont, because I dont want to make you feel awkward with my weirdness.

12. If you dont know what to ask, but want to know more about 11, just say, tell me more about 11.

13. I like communication, but i am often misunderstood. If i say anything or do anything that you feel hurtby, take offense to, or are weirded/creeped out by, ask me. Im pretty honest about things, and i'll let ya know what i intended.

14. If ever I am not communicating clearly, and you want to know whats going on in my head, ask, and ye shall recieve.

15. If im angry, give me space, if im sad give me a hug, if im tired give me a nap, if im hungry, dont give me mint or avocados, but give me food or a chance to get food, if Im happy, dance and sing with me, and if im lonely, come and rescue me. If im needing to reflect, let me walk alone. If your not sure what I need, ask. Ill try to just tell you. If I tell you what I need, just know that its because I dont expect you to read my mind.

Love to you all,

Mandi

Ps Id like to add that this is not passively agressively directed at anyone. Its simply what i have learned from my life experience, and some of it was from a very positive experience recently where a few people did some things right and my stress was reduced, my patience increased, and things got resolved better than usual.