Dead battery

My friends and i just tried to jump my car. It didnt work. Ive sent them on their way, and im going to sit here and wait an hour for my aid from AAA to show up.

I guess God wanted me to have a little more time to sit here and reflect at Ensign ranch. Either that, or Im an idiot and let my phone charge too long because i fell asleep.

It was great all the talks today, abour how God is aware of us and our needs. They also talked alot about reconciliation if you arent getting along with someone. Thats pretty much it.

I feel like my life is a big mess right now, the harder i try to straighten it out, the bigger mess it gets. Im supper emotional, and this weekend has been good, but it didnt make me feel any more together than before.

I find myself in that horrible place where I am begging for love acceptace and help, and at the same time pushing people away hard. The more I want help the louder I screem "stay the H away from me" inside. Its interesting because we had a talk on that today, from one of the seventies.

Apparently, all anyone can do to help me right now is love me, and at times Im going to be difficult to love. But thats where I am. Stuck waiting, with a dead battery.