Ok so I dont know if I should call this day 1 or day 2 of my furlough. I did work for an hour and fifteen minutes yesterday ,so today is my first full furlough day. Yesterday I was really really productive. I got so much done. Today, I dont know if its the weather, or the fact that they keep saying there is no end in sight or what, but I have a bunch of things I can do, and probably should do, but apart from getting out of bed, having an amaziing scripture study about hope, and spending 3 hrs visiting with my good friend Michelle, I'm kind of at a loss as to what to do next.
I have a list a mile long of things I need to do, things I want to do, but which should I start with? 20 songs I want to learn on the guitar? painting? should I pick up the bag pipe chanter? try to get my childrens book published, should I do more on my grad school applications, that just makes me upset because I need to take classes and dont have money to, and then i freak out because I dont know when I will have money, and all my family are govt workers, so what the crap am I going to do.
See, now we are in melt down mode. Maybe i should pick up those books my friend Emily let me borrow and figure out what season of clothing I am. I talked to Michelle earlier, and she thought fall. I like clothes colors better in the fall, but I think i was still torn a bit with summer. Yeah, I had a break down at michelles and started crying because I didn't know what my season was for clothing. Do I dare to venture to understand that on my own? I still cant tell what my skin undertones are- are they golden or are they blue? I dont know!! who the heck knows that? I dont. I dont want to admit that I dont know that,but I guess I just did. Yup, I can't tell what the undertones of my skin are. thank you much. I feel like an idot, even more so that I spent a significant amount of time trying to figure that out and still didnt.
Some of my friends went running. I should go running, but im freezing cold, so I dont want to. Should I turn on my heat? why? it will make my electric bill higher. I could go work on my car.I never changed that air cabin filter, and I need to fix my door handle.
Someone needs to weed whack their lawn, but its been raining and doesn't want to. Should I play with my dog? well, at least i already patched my favorite pants, so I dont have to worry about that sewing project. Maybe i should make things and take them to friends and people I love. Service is great. Oh but that would take gas, so maybe I should conserve gas. I should make lunch. What should I make? I should conserve food, how about a sandwich. Ok done. I need butter. next time I go somewhere i should include a trip to walmart to get butter, but when i go dont buy anything else. how can i go to walmart without buying a ton of crap i dont need? I should at least finish learning to play linger on my guitar today. Im so close!!
And that my friend is why I am siting in bed, kind of frozen in melt down mode, paralized by too many ideas, too much time, and not enough money. Pick something girl!! pick something, anything, and do it. Don't play candy crush and watch movies on amazon all day. dont be paralized by fear of the unknown. just do SOMETHING useful with your time. that is all. that is all.
I have a list a mile long of things I need to do, things I want to do, but which should I start with? 20 songs I want to learn on the guitar? painting? should I pick up the bag pipe chanter? try to get my childrens book published, should I do more on my grad school applications, that just makes me upset because I need to take classes and dont have money to, and then i freak out because I dont know when I will have money, and all my family are govt workers, so what the crap am I going to do.
See, now we are in melt down mode. Maybe i should pick up those books my friend Emily let me borrow and figure out what season of clothing I am. I talked to Michelle earlier, and she thought fall. I like clothes colors better in the fall, but I think i was still torn a bit with summer. Yeah, I had a break down at michelles and started crying because I didn't know what my season was for clothing. Do I dare to venture to understand that on my own? I still cant tell what my skin undertones are- are they golden or are they blue? I dont know!! who the heck knows that? I dont. I dont want to admit that I dont know that,but I guess I just did. Yup, I can't tell what the undertones of my skin are. thank you much. I feel like an idot, even more so that I spent a significant amount of time trying to figure that out and still didnt.
Some of my friends went running. I should go running, but im freezing cold, so I dont want to. Should I turn on my heat? why? it will make my electric bill higher. I could go work on my car.I never changed that air cabin filter, and I need to fix my door handle.
Someone needs to weed whack their lawn, but its been raining and doesn't want to. Should I play with my dog? well, at least i already patched my favorite pants, so I dont have to worry about that sewing project. Maybe i should make things and take them to friends and people I love. Service is great. Oh but that would take gas, so maybe I should conserve gas. I should make lunch. What should I make? I should conserve food, how about a sandwich. Ok done. I need butter. next time I go somewhere i should include a trip to walmart to get butter, but when i go dont buy anything else. how can i go to walmart without buying a ton of crap i dont need? I should at least finish learning to play linger on my guitar today. Im so close!!
And that my friend is why I am siting in bed, kind of frozen in melt down mode, paralized by too many ideas, too much time, and not enough money. Pick something girl!! pick something, anything, and do it. Don't play candy crush and watch movies on amazon all day. dont be paralized by fear of the unknown. just do SOMETHING useful with your time. that is all. that is all.
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