Me, and My Digital Friends

In the past month, I've had to purchase a new laptop (second one in six months) and a new phone.

This morning, as I imported the last of my contacts, photos, and music from my old phone to my new phone, I left the empty she'll of what used to be my most constant companion (apart from the Holy Ghost) sitting alone and abandoned on my night stand.

I'll admit I felt a little sad for a moment, and probably will for a little while while I get used to the new phone. I had that phone for two and a half years, it was a trooper. It was my only companion that stayed by my side for my entire trip to Europe, and he was also there when I started stretchy time, got me through long days at work, and pretty much saved me during my three computer less weeks.
But in the end, he is a phone. He lived a pretty full life, and the time has come to let him go. There was far less love lost for the laptop, which lasted only six months, and that I pretty much hated from day one. I mainly just missed the wasted money I had invested in the stupid thing.

But all this talk reminded me of other digital friends, real people, and my digital interactions with them. I'm not going to slagg off Facebook,  it is what you make of it.

One of my strongest, best friendships in the world happened because Facebook allowed me to interact with and come to know and love a visiting teaching assignment that wanted nothing to do with me, my companion or the church at the time.

And I'll be honest, if people don't want to talk to me for visiting teaching, I usually quit trying pretty quickly, but in that instance, I wanted to genuinely be her friend, and slowly, via Facebook we became friends, and then in real life.

So, I won't slagg off facebook. You can have good, genuine high nutrient relationship interactions on facebook, if you use it right. And twitter, and whatever else.

...or, you can fill your life with a lot of empty calorie relationships. I've done both. But, about two years ago, I started a journey to get healthy in every aspect of my life, and just now I'm starting to realize what that means to my digital interactions, as well as real life friendships.

I had a good talk with my therapist lately, about this very subject. I've come to realize that apart from small occasions to keep balanced, because we do need some lower level friendships and interactions, because to not would rob you of future deep relationship possibilities, what I really want out of this stage of life are recovery drink, protein bar, and nutrient rich friendships, and a good variety of them.

I'm no longer at an age where I want millions of friends that are very superficial level friends indeed, I'm no longer at an age where I need or want broad general adoration and acceptance. I am at a point in life where I mainly care about friends that I know will still be friends no matter what time and life and distance try to do.

And speaking of distance, when these friends live far away,  or even are close but busy with children and low on time, but still care and want to be there for you, share pictures and stories with you, etc, that is what Facebook can be used to help enrich lives with.

Far better than those lonely times we pointlessly scroll the news feed, posting randomness, and taking quizzes trying to fill a void that can only be filled by real face to face human interaction.

I guess, ultimately, what I am saying is, there are two kinds of digital friends, the ones that last about six months, and are easily replaced, and the ones that last forever, that go on adventures, that have your back. The ones that make you sad when life seems to pull you appart.

What I am saying is, keep a nutritional balance in your life, and in your relationships with others. Don't fill up on empty calories, find a way to make sure your friends are not just a digital part of your life. If you can't see them face to face, at least remember them in your prayers.

I'll never forget in the MTC, when Elder Scott told us to build relationships with our mission companions strong enough to last through eternity. I'll never forget the advice to stay in touch with the people you teach on your mission. And, I think that same advice can be applied to any friend that has dug deep enough to stay in your memory a decade later. Even if it's a Christmas card once a year, people are not phones to be used and then tossed aside when the newest model comes along.

If anything matters in life, it's people. And, not just family. Family is important,  but we are all part of a much bigger family than we often remember,  God's family, and as the little prince learned, we are forever responsible for those we have created ties with. Seems like a tall order, but remember, by small means, great things are brought to pass.

Remember just one friend today,  digitally, or otherwise. Even if you just think about how much they have meant to you, but even better if you can find a way to let them know. I promise, it will enrich your life, and you won't feel it time wasted. Connect. Remember. Love.