I think the worst day of the month is the day I pay all my bills. It has a way of discouraging me like almost nothing else. Why? I dont know. I work my butt off. I try to manage my money responsibly, and actually, Im doing better than it seems at this second in my head. A lot better. But something about watching hudreds of dollars suddenly empty out of your bank account the very day that it gets put there to begin with, is just very discouraging.
At the moment, I am wondering why I am trying to do so stinking much. Why am I trying to go back to school, work my regular job, and be co-coordinator for the CFC all at the same time, while trying to write a very emotional ten page essay for a project I will discuss at a later date- its super emotional. Any way, WHY!!!!!! why on earth am I trying to do so much at once, and add to it this and that, and then I come home, pay my bills and wonder why I am so freaking stressed out and want to cry?
Is there any particular reason I feel I must accomplish all of these things now, and that none of them can wait? Well, mainly there is one. My name is Mandi, and its just what I do. After a week of being sick with a cold and out of commission, I have so much catching up to do on everything. Maybe its time I take a little advice, and SLOW IT DOWN. Yes, I think that is what I shall do. Im going to go get some emotional support tonight at ARP, and I will not pay any more bills tonight, I can pay them tomorrow. I will not write any essays tonight, I couldn't if I wanted to. And Im not doing my Psychology homework tonight, because Im too stressed out, and I wont get anything out of it any way.
Tonight, I am going to succeed in feeling loved, supported, and calm. I think I can handle that much. and that is all. Sometimes, the harder you try the harder you fail, just because you are trying to do too much and increasing the probability that you will fail at something. keep trying, but "see that ye do all things in wisdom, and in order."
At the moment, I am wondering why I am trying to do so stinking much. Why am I trying to go back to school, work my regular job, and be co-coordinator for the CFC all at the same time, while trying to write a very emotional ten page essay for a project I will discuss at a later date- its super emotional. Any way, WHY!!!!!! why on earth am I trying to do so much at once, and add to it this and that, and then I come home, pay my bills and wonder why I am so freaking stressed out and want to cry?
Is there any particular reason I feel I must accomplish all of these things now, and that none of them can wait? Well, mainly there is one. My name is Mandi, and its just what I do. After a week of being sick with a cold and out of commission, I have so much catching up to do on everything. Maybe its time I take a little advice, and SLOW IT DOWN. Yes, I think that is what I shall do. Im going to go get some emotional support tonight at ARP, and I will not pay any more bills tonight, I can pay them tomorrow. I will not write any essays tonight, I couldn't if I wanted to. And Im not doing my Psychology homework tonight, because Im too stressed out, and I wont get anything out of it any way.
Tonight, I am going to succeed in feeling loved, supported, and calm. I think I can handle that much. and that is all. Sometimes, the harder you try the harder you fail, just because you are trying to do too much and increasing the probability that you will fail at something. keep trying, but "see that ye do all things in wisdom, and in order."
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