Things That Make My Sports Loving Bi (Leaning Gay) Heart Feel Glorious

"Glorious"  David Archuleta

There are times when you might feel aimless, and can't see the places where you belong.
But you will find that there is a purpose it's been there within you all along.
And when you're near it you can almost hear it.

And you will know how to let it ring out, as you discover who you are.
Others around you will start to wake up to the sounds that are in their hearts.
It's so amazing what we're all creating

[Chorus:]

It's like a symphony, just keep listening, and pretty soon you'll start to figure out your part.
Everyone plays a piece and there are melodies in each one of us.
Oohhh it's glorious

Many times I have heard people say that "Representation matters."  It does, but that phrase doesn't explain anything. Seeing pieces of yourself, seeing your dreams and hopes for yourself  reflected in the world around you both fictional and real can create hope, inspiration, and spark life changes of monumental proportions.  Its  like something that you had no idea how badly you needed until you get a taste of it, and then its like your favorite highly nutritious food. Every part of you feels better because it exists, and you realize you really needed that and you will keep needing it.

And I guess that's something I experienced again today when Sue Bird of the Seattle Storm said she was dating Megan Rapinoe of the Seattle Reign.  And it wasn't just being open about being gay, or who she was dating, it was the pieces of her public journey that she shared, the times she had considered saying something, but the time wasn't right for her yet. There is something about this that I related to, and it sparked a hope for me at a time when I need it. Hope in love, in relationships, in continuing to try, and continuing to connect. 

  A power couple, isn't just two powerful people, two famous people getting together. A true power couple are such people that individually inspire and raise other people up, who get together and create a power explosion for the world, or at least some corner of it.  Today I felt that kind of emotional explosion and it still brings me to tears.  

So what I desire to share today, are some of the people, fictional and real  that took an aimless Mandi, Struggling to find where I belong and just by their being themselves helped me "start to wake up to the sounds that are in (my) heart", that showed me a place, I could exist as my full amazing self,   with a purpose that had "been there within (me) all along"  Just by being near it, I could hear it and I did figure out my part.  ok enough quoting song lyrics, here are some of the power couples, individuals, and works that make me feel glorious (in no particular order).

1) Ellen DeGeneres.  I've written about this before, but even before Ellen came out,  her sitcom characters fashion style was one of the few I felt I could connect to as a young teen. When she came out, it was so powerful that I was both grateful and terrified by it.

2) All the people from my high school that have come out since we graduated, and the one that came out before.  Knowing that I was surrounded by you in my youth, and had no idea, has made adult Mandi  feel a lot better about my struggles as a youth. I remember running into one such Alum at Provo Pride, and she said to me "Can you imagine if we had all known and been there for each other in High School?"  Wow! yeah. I have been imagining it. It would have been less lonely, and it might have been life changing, but it is life changing enough for me to know that you exist now, and it is good enough for me to have you and not be alone now.  Many times you gave me great courage.

3) My friends and family that have been unconditionally there for me. I know I don't need to fear life because of you, and you continue to bring the greatest meaning to my life. especially you girlfriends ;) (you know who you are).

4) Sara Ramierez.    Sara Ramierez , both as the character Callie Torres, and as herself has been such a great inspiration in not hiding your bisexual self, no matter where you fit on that spectrum of bisexuality.  and one of my favorite moments of all was this video she did with Mary Lambert, whos music has also been a great source of inspiration.

5) also Mary Lambert.

6) This Music Video from Miike Snow. Like. I love this so much!

7) Halsey.   Her latest album, and her choice to knowingly alternate pronouns of the love interests of many of her songs, and then this duet to top it all off.

8) Selena Gomez' video for Bad Liar. I watched it 20 times bisexual (as opposed to 20 times straight)

9) Krashlyn. By Krashlyn I mean Ashlyn Harris individually, or with Ali Krieger, or even the strong possibility of that being a thing,  and mostly by Krashlyn I also mean that time Ashlyn went on Kyle Kriegers youtube channel and also Kyle Krieger, because every combination of  any of those three together or alone is at minimum entertaining, if not educational and or inspiring to me. 

10) My Abby Wambach poster.  I mean. I also find Abby Wambach inspiring, but my best friend gave me a poster, and I talk to it every day, and ask it questions like "Dear Abby, what is the meaning of my life? why am I up at 5 am"  She always has an answer for me, from the depths of my own head. Also, the real Abby Wambach wrote a really great book and played some mad soccer.

11) Haley Kopmeyer.  Because that woman can Goalie. And she is the funniest, coolest, nicest person ever and regularly makes my day either on twitter, at games, or on her Stops With Kop

12) This guy, because he is my best friend and is always there for me. ALWAYS.

13) Megan Rapinoe  individually, as well as Sue Bird individually, but also collectively. I don't need to explain this further.

14) BritAnna. If you haven't seen Glee. Go watch.  but I love these two especially.

15) Eve Muirhead.  She's just a super inspiring athlete, and her curling abilities sparked a lot of change in my life, and determination to go for things and stop saying "I can't" .

16) Xena Warrior princess, Ghostbusters (especially Kate McKinnon), the L Word, Glee,  Wonder Woman, and the fact that two of these will soon be getting a TV reboot!!!

17) Johanna Lohman (Amazing soccer player with awesome hair), the ladies of Backline soccer, and especially Jackie Porter, one of my favorite people on twitter, the Seattle Reign and my friends at the Royal Guard.

Not all these people, or characters are gay or bi, many are. Some of them are just athletes, some of them have done music videos and things that bring my soul joy because they  included gay/bi characters. some of them are just inspirations in my life that some how struck me in a very inspiring personal way.  Some of them inspire me with their fashions, or their talent.  Everyone on this list and many more have made me feel connection to life that drives me forward to keep finding my voice. And that is why I have chosen to put them here today. 

To celebrities like Sue Bird, that  do things like she did today, that share those pieces of themselves with the world, even though that's not really their thing, I just have to say I'm really grateful because sometimes life is hard, and that gives me energy to keep going, to keep putting myself out there, and to keep- well, putting myself out there and going on dates and meeting new people. which can be quite scary. I may have a date this Saturday, unless she ghosts on me. But If I do, I'm terrified that it might go horribly, because I am really hoping she doesn't and it doesn't.  But after everything I've been through its hard to believe that it wont go horribly, and its hard to keep putting myself out there. But if I can see others, my friends, or complete stranger celebrities then I can start to imagine success for myself, and it becomes a little more likely to happen.

because "It's like a symphony, just keep listening, and pretty soon you'll start to figure out your part.
Everyone plays a piece and there are melodies in each one of us.
Oohhh it's glorious"